There are two extremes in terms of me being confident (key component); as a tool for my brain to get enough faith to take the risks that I’ll need to take. When it’s used incorrectly, like the money used by fools it causes tremendous loss.
Someone who achieved amazing results like Jordan was extremely confident, could come off as arrogant, but people who knew him said that they’ve never met a man more teachable than Jordan. His confidence didn’t sabotage his teach-ability, didn’t sabotage him finding the best coaches. He listened better than anyone else. Combined confidence with an immense level of teach-ability.
Don’t listen to 99% of people, but when you find that one, listen to everything; there’s a lot of noise in the world, and you may find yourself listening democratically- that might work in politics, but it doesn’t work when it comes to listening- don’t give everybody 1 vote (don’t give 1 vote to an overweight person when you’re learning about health; when you find a person that overcame obesity and is now in shape, listen to everything he says).
Listen to the people that have what you want; if you want 10 divorces, listen to a man that has been divorced several times. You don’t have the intuition to success yet, that’s why you have to listen to other people because that’s how you will avoid delusional confidence.
Over-optimism is the most dangerous human bias, that is arrogance. That’s all over Hollywood, people saying “I know I’m going to make it.” Why are you sure? That’s not a law of physics. Don’t be confident about the things that don’t apply to nature, laws of biology, physics, math…
That’s working against you when you’re trying to make it.
People who compliment their child actually harm him, because he starts to be arrogant, and starts to be delusional.
IQ only measures the capacity (like a glass), but somebody with a big glass might not fill it, while a person that has a small glass might fill it up and be confident, not arrogant because it’s backed up- Jordan backed up everything he said.
Magic Johnson is also confident, but also smart; wanted advice from people and while most athletes lose money, he is now a very successful businessman.
The opposite of this is American Idol.
The syndrome is that they don’t hear what everybody else hears; it can be rooted in mom patting you on the back, not getting enough knowledge about who the good singers are, not enough practice and knowledge… don’t think you’re good when you’re not!
Delusion would be effective if there were no people, but you won’t fool people to buy if you’re not good or funny- or both. You can’t fool all people all the time, you might fool your family and friends (arrogance will fool some people; “I’m the best singer”), and a few people will say that you’re good since you were so confident, but it doesn’t work on more than 10% of people, and other 90% will boo you off the stage.
Admit you’re bad, find best teachers, and once you’ve changed you can say; look I was bad, I learned through mentors and trial and error, let me teach you. But you have to earn it first, to be confident then.
“Everybody wants to be a Navy Seal on Friday talking about it, nobody wants to be a Seal on Monday when you have to do the hard part.”
On the way there don’t use arrogance as a tool to get there- even Jordan didn’t do that, he used the fact that he got cut off from the team as a motivation to get ahead. He admitted the mistakes.
Displays of faith in the process are OK, some people will be offended, but most people will see it as healthy confidence; “I’m overweight, but I read books and workout daily!”- that’s not bad.
What is an example of you being democratic in who you listen to?
What is an example of you going beyond confidence into delusion and arrogance?
How are you going to proceed with knowledge?