REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS
Real Social Dynamics (RSD) is a company that teaches men how to be more confident and successful with women and dating.
RSD has evolved over the years and now has several dating coaches that have their own training programs, bootcamps, and tours which is why we are going to analyze each of them individually.
Real Social Dynamics is now well known since it has also been featured as seen below:
RSD Tyler – Owen Cook
- Hot Seat At Home
- Blueprint DECODED
- FLAWLESS NATURAL
- Superconference: FOUNDATIONS
- Superconference: TRANSFORMATIONS
- Surviving The Game of Dating
- Mastermind Collection
RSD Brad – Wade Alters
Idea of spending 20 minutes per day doing nothing (no thinking)- spending time aware in the present moment.
Shift awareness into my breathing- focusing on not thinking is not effective, because I think about not thinking then. Stop judging and let go of the thought how well am I doing. Watch it float by.
Be aware of the thought and go back out of my head.
Set alarm to 21 minutes. Use a minute to become comfortable, scratch… Let go of the fact that sometimes it’s not completely comfortable- then it becomes comfortable.
Don’t judge how well I did today in meditation. Some days will be amazing, some days not as much.
With eyes open- trains me to become present in a dynamic environment
If I do it before bed it carries out to the next day- my mind is in the zone
“Give up Hope”- surrender to it completely- no way out
Don’t think too much ahead- stay in the moment.
Merge into the process, without caring about the outcome and thinking what I have to do.
If I’m more in the moment I’m funnier, more sexual… than if I think I have to get laid all the time.
The journey is fun, not the goal.
Herbert Benson- Relaxation response
With meditation I don’t get adrenalin kicks which slow down repairing and makes me ill (stress; similar to when a lion attacks you, but it’s all the time because of money, validation…)
Meditation teaches you to not need external stimulus, makes you grounded and creates your own will power. I am the center of gravity, my intentions in life come from within.
Listening to music that you like connects you to yourself, that’s why you love certain music so much.
Focus attention on breathing or hearing ability.
Creating my own center of gravity that’s not being effected by external events (what others think of me…) and my intentions of life become to within- being happy or sad is not based on things outside of me, I have inner-piece.
I can achieve even better feeling than if I would make a lot of money or get laid.
I have to align myself with my life’s purpose.
Meditation get’s me sharper, depend less on validation from others.
I’m a unique person, but I’m energy that has expressed itself before sinking back in.
Different entities- my wants + high consciousness
I become a silent observer behind the thought, instead of being a petty person that is not getting their needs met. I’m not identified with form (death), but with light, the form dies, the light lives on.
Things that scare me feel amazing when I’m present.
- Power of now
- New Earth
Light shinning thru a diamond (high conscious)
The boss looks at bigger picture (present moment) and doesn’t get caught up in the emotions when they’re not having their needs met.
Don’t be identified with my highs that it sucks when I’m low, and not being identified with being low so that I don’t stay there. (don’t be too much effected because of your emotions)
The employee has stories and complain when things don’t go their way.
Don’t be focused on stimulation, results.
It doesn’t matter what I’m doing (a lot of money, sex with hot women), but the way I experience those things- fully present.
With meditation I become 3-4 times sharper.
Train to be present in everyday life- with meditation.
Do it everyday! Always finding reasons not to do it- still do it! Happens because I’m addicted to stimulus. Do it even if it’s 6am and you haven’t slept yet.
Meditation is the root system of a tree (I’m the tree), so I can grow taller and taller and not fall.
First 20 minutes of meditation is the longest of my life, results within a month
It kills my approach anxiety and opens abundance.
Even if I’m sleepy and this is my worst session it’s still important to do it.
Russell Simmons- Do you, Super rich
Get’s me out of my unconscious and brings me to conscious will power.
If I take massive action and meditate it will do great, if I just meditate it will not be so effective.
Beliefs & Skills To Pickup A Nerd Girl
Just because a girl is a nerd, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t like sex. It’s about judgment on my part.
I don’t ever know what girls are about until I get to know them.
How to go on a Sex Romp & not Explode Your Life
We have different personalities that we bring up in different situations- cool guys usually don’t look life through lens of seeking validation.
3 main things:
Condom use- diseases, pregnancy and punishment
Alcohol and drugs- not fitting in
Eating bad food after dark- getting fat
I decide to fix these problems
I will use protection, not drug myself and have healthy food in my pocket.
It has to appeal to my reverent self, bond with reverent self. I have to stay true to my original purposes- improving myself and getting better everyday (not messing my life up.)
reverent- deeply respectful
Tyler’s Most Gangster Exercise for Entitlement
Go to a woman that I don’t really care and go like “You, what’s up? Come here.” Practice pulling her and then mimic the same to an attractive woman (without focusing on emotions.)
If I turn my A-game for a woman it might communicate that I’m trying to hard for her.
“This is not what I’m suppose to be doing” block- practice clearing it out.
Short Term vs Long Term Mating Strategy
There are different parts of my brain that decides between these two strategies.
Short term- try to impregnate as many women until I reach my thirties and then die (don’t do anything that might stop the party- don’t listen, brush their teeth, I’m awesome!!) Everything is sacrificed just to maintain that state.
Long term- taking time to raise just a few kids (making every part of my life figured out in order to feel good.)
Personal decision: Using long term, but when I go out I get in a state of short term.
Charlie Sheen Narcissism Explained
Doing anything to stay in that state-delusional confidence, even when you’re not famous anymore.
Mind gives you rewards for the state you’re in (wants to help me)- short term (doesn’t matter if you die at age 30) or longterm (good at raising kids.)
I have to force myself to get out of short term state after a party and start working again.
I am usually in long term state, I’m not on a short term drug- I have to get into “awesome state.”
I can look like a mess and still pimp- go crazy, don’t make sense.
I am as cool as Tyler- delusionally awesome.
Whip off the awesomeness, don’t think.
You are a winner & There is NO Competition
Doesn’t matter how many guys hit on women, I’m a winner and I have no competition.
Tyler’s Secret: Become “Special” to Hot Girls
It’s my movie, not trying to get in her movie.
Anticipation positive response-pause (just look at her and when she says what? Say: “I have this theory, that when a woman meets a man she wants to look in his eyes to see if that’s who he really is. When she realizes he’s an asshole she says I like him.”)
No outcome- when you try, you’re not special anymore.
How to Use Momentum to Fuel Entitlement
Entitlement- how attractive can a girl be in order for me to act normal around her (not trying to impress her, not getting stuck in your head, not being intimidated by her)
Approach anxiety causes guys to think about ways not to approach and focuses them on the excuses instead of focusing on the girl, while lack of entitlement focuses guys to think about ways to give value to a woman (hard time thinking what to say, listening, vibing…)
Instead of focusing on stronger approaches, physical game…let’s build momentum with freedom of outcome (say “Interesting, amazing, tell me more about this” and watch her.)
The key of attraction comes from the eyes- making pauses and looking at her (I’m in my movie, completely centered.)
Do NOT try to convey value!
Girls like me just for me (just because I’m there.)
Being at cause vs effect with women
I’m the white ball that breaks other balls (I cause things- taking the lead.)
Keys of entitlement: A complete positive response and freedom of the outcome, in this exercise I’m doing positive response, in a previous I’m being free of the outcome.
Secrets of Physical Game
Knowing that I get go physical right away (I can own her with lack of physical contact.) I can kiss her whenever I want to, but I won’t.
But I need to work on physical game for 6 months- or I’m like a guy that can’t fight and everyone knows it.
Getting to the point where I’m calm and girl can sense that I don’t have any issues, I own her.
Secrets of Being Real vs Fake
Getting vulnerable- convey natural personality. If you’re fake, she will be fake to you.
Low status people act different, because they are afraid of people rejecting their natural personality.
Do not act cool because you’re in a club- be natural (high status.)
Cure to Catching Feelings & Sinking into Scarcity
Getting obsessed with one girl.
When you don’t think you have options (not being abundant) you will project qualities on to her that do not exist. Feelings will be there just because of being in scarcity.
Make out with 5 girls that are equally attractive as a girl that I have feelings for, take 2 of them at home.
You can’t feel the same way. She might be still something special and I might want to be with her even more, but not because of thinking I don’t have any other options.
Independence and grow to intra-dependence.
Getting the girl is now what I need, it’s what I want and universe will give me what I need.
How to create the “Perfect Storm” in your game
There will be times when I will get hurt and sensitive.
You want connection with her, but when you get connection that will be probably neediness.
The fact that I’m connected too early, makes me in scarcity.
Once you get in butt hurt state everything you do sucks (disney movies.)
Experience that connection with yourself, not through her.
Rip away that lair of attachment- don’t be soft!
Get over “the hungry don’t get fed” thing.
Connect with happiness, life and myself first, then without those lairs of attachment I can connect with a girl if I choose to.
Secrets of your Journey to Success with Girls
how do you become icy (center, nothing can throw me off)? Lessons that I get are based on commitment to my journey. We have a choice to take a journey or not (success with women, business…)
Everything happens for a reason- leads my journey, I get a benefit from it.
I enjoy myself. I am also enjoying every small victory and continue my journey.
People that got things easy are soft and get frustrated easily (also a lack of bigger picture, appreciation.)
Grow in freedom of outcome as you get more powerful.
If you stop in your journey you will stagnate, envirenment will change and you will be in sivire pain. Life is in movement all the time.
The ultimate reward is the state of mind and all the habits, experiences…
I choose to be awesome. When things go wrong I will not blame myself, it’s about commiting to the journey.
Losing my virginity
Tyler’s Narrow road: A Silly Game with Serious Rules
Being focused, while others are not and walk wherever (they are not on the path.)
Game is fun, but whether it’s business or the game it has serious rules. If I don’t follow them I will suck! I am cut from the same cloth.
Some rules: Being clear in my intent, having no outcome, building momentum, drawing state from within myself, being the party without trying to be in her party, being physical and relating as a man to a woman, not relating as a friend to a friend and making a choice to make it fun.
Come from a state: It’s a lot of fun, but I’m not sloppy- I’m taking rules seriously (they work.)
Self Acceptance vs Self Actualization Paradox
Self Acceptance- be yourself, be congruent with who you are, you are enough, believe that a girl likes you just for yourself (Eckart Tolle)
Self Actualization- be your best self, stand out from other guys, put your best foot forward, be awesome (Anthony Robins)
Looking at it as two ends of a coin (there are succeeful happy people on both sides) you can also picture a guy that loses motivation to do anything because it’s all based on ego and he doesn’t want to be egotistical, or a guy that runs through Manhattan making billions of dollars and still not being happy.
I need to use both- outer game (Self Actualization) to learn to observe, talk to people, physically escalate… and inner game (Self Acceptance) to have a direct eye contact, be comfortable in my own skin and I’m enough to approach.
The game is based on 90 % of Self Acceptance.
I have to love myself AND take action.
Not doing everything to enhance my self-image. Just enjoying experience.
Self Acceptance- others and society are not telling me what to do, telling me what is good and how should I feel.
I am living my life on my terms (my version of it- going through faze where I need to set up my own values can be scary, but it’s just a faze.
That might be scary for most people- they want others to tell them what to do.
As long as I’m taking action to my values is cool.
Should you go out to Practice or Get Laid?
Going out to practice- trying not to lose (holding interaction)
Get laid- trying to win
The same way we look at girl’s breasts and ass, women check out men’s eyes (vibe, energy, status…)
If I have that “getting laid” vibe in my eyes good things will happen- keep looking at her, don’t break. I can start making out with her without talking (men put more pressure on it than women)
“You, come here”- point at her, then make out. Don’t hold interaction, either she’s for it right away, or get her out of the way.
Approach a girl for no more then 5 seconds- comment, high five, hug… My only intent is to do it, not her reaction to it.
Don’t seek reaction: “I’m doing my 5 second approach now, hope she likes it.”
Eye- lock on, when you talk look at her like that without releasing tension.
Cultivating the Natural Strengths in Your Personality
When dad calls her daughter a slut, then she becomes a slut.
Same for me: if the first girl responds well, I’m cool for the rest of the night.
First 20-30 minutes no effort (don’t tell her this, that), so my personality is relaxed.
I’m locked in the “less try” personality.
Congruent personality will get me laid. Incongruent personality is not rock solid with tests, because I don’t have decades of experience with it.
Whatever I am, I have to own it.
If she doesn’t know what my personality is, she can’t decide if she wants me or not.
I need to look at her or look away at a specific thing with intent- don’t linger with eyes.
I have to say what I want to say- what is amusing to me, what is my interest to say: attraction goes up, if I say what I think she wants to hear attraction drops.
A “Real man’s Blowout”- go in, introduce myself and talk what I want to- if nothing comes to mind, say nothing, but amazing eye contact.
How to be Happy and Fix Addiction to Bullshit Thoughts & Emotions without drugs
My mind makes path for the state of mind that I’m being the most time in. If I’m in negative state, I become addicted to it and keep falling to that default.
Wherever I go, here I’m at- so wherever I’m at, my thought patterns and state of mind will come to me (People being in Hawaii- happy for a day, then negative again.)
I have to re-addict myself to positive state of mind. People are addicted to pain.
Look at the thoughts that I focus on, relationship that I have, topics that I talk about and get a sense of it.
Society takes pharmaceutical drugs to fix that.
Anthony Robbins- Awaken the giant within (positive challenge)
10 day- every day when a negative thought happens, change it to positive. By thinking changing my mind to positive.
Becoming present to the moment also helps (shuts off my mind from thinking.)
Nutrition has massive effect on me. 150 healthiest foods jonny bowden, ultramind solution mark hyman, primal blueprint mark sisson
Good friends, care free vibe, social circle, have fun, quality sleep.
I am a spunge, I can choose my inflence with will power, but not always my mood. In five years I will be avrage of my 5 closest friends+ books I have read.
I have to direct myself.
How to Get Back in the Game
Demanding people to stop and talk to me, expecting women to start making out with me when I meet them can me a little weird. Going out every day makes it normal, if you’re not going out for a while, you lose a lot of those abilities.
Being Congruent to Whatever Emotions you Feel
Women are good at seeing incongruency.
You don’t like that you don’t feel confident- builds up inner resistence.
Go to my body and get familiur how I feel and express it.
If you hide your nervousness by acting overly confident she can sense it in your eyes.
You can approach with nervousness and succeed, because you didn’t try to hide it.
Embody whatever you feel and work from that through the night- you get more confident.
How validation affects your behavior
When guys make up with a girl, their state amps up and they act cool. They are not that cool through the day.
How can I use that without being dependent on those girls who made out with me?
Building a personal eco system- hobbies, friends, passions, but also humor. My personal amusement helps me act cool and feel better looking- look at my act when that’s happening, I need to do that all the time.
How to Build Willpower vs positive Emotions
ideal in nightclub: having a lot of fun and transferring it to the women I’m meeting.
Also need to be clear in my intent- alignment in my thoughts, words and actions. No desire for approval of her and my friends, wanting to be the guy that’s cool in that club, wanting to show that my skills are improving. Instead my intent should be: getting laid, having fun, expressing fun stuff inside me.
If I’m not having fun it only builds up my intent, but not my positive emotions. If I go out with my friends I’m not in pressure to approach everybody, but I get lazy to approach- positive emotions, but no intent.
Having both, makes it easier to do it.
If there are not a lot of hot girls I try to find her so long that when I finally find her she becomes a main source of entertainment for the day- she’s the star of the movie.
Willpower is a limited muscle- most thoughts and behaviors are on autopilot. When I try to do something new it burns out my willpower. Meditation is good for willpower.
If I don’t have fun in a club I can still approach and build my willpower.
First 20 minutes when you throw of logic and begin to socialize burns the most willpower. After that, it’s easy and fun.
Wake up Call to “Hard Case” Newbies!
Tyler was the biggest hard case.
I admit that I suck shit. I don’t deserve to reproduce.
Any single thing that I get, is more than I deserve and I’m happy about it.
Secrets on Whether to Relax or Hit it Up When you Get to the Clubs
Hit it up so you don’t get in spectator mode, get out of your head and get in the zone, but don’t be in pressure to talk to them.
Main goal is relaxation.
I can hit it up and realize that no one is stopping me, so I feel myself switching on. By the end of the night in gets easy to pull any girl. But I can also feel need to approach which is not good, it’s pressure.
If I relax, I don’t scan for value, I’m not reactive and I’m having a good time. It can fail if I get stop in my head.
Don’t do anything as a techiniqe or a system- do it as an emotional state.
Do anything to get outside your head- with music, dancing, talking to anyone.
I have to take action and stop behaving as a beta male.
Beliefs are the most important thing- believing it will work.
Expansion and Contraction! How the Game Gives You Experiences to Become an Adult
By getting kicked in the dirt, getting hurt will get me better.
Just like a kid will get hurt, get through pressure, confusions… just to get normal.
Rich kids are not fit for this world- they get frustrated and addicted soon.
I can’t just get a wife and a dog and have a job for the rest of my life– I have to evolve, or I will get laid off.
It’s good to get my guts spit off, it’s good to get emotionally manipulated, being obsessed, getting kicked, and losing friends, losing a girl- I will become better. I will not become attached to other people; success will come through that pain.
Life can’t always be about expanding; it has to contract as well just like I have to sleep. Being sick, being depressed will heal me.
The worst thing that I can do to kids is give them everything. I have to keep evolving, getting new experiences all the time to become more competent, more dynamic, sharper, more intelligent and experienced- enjoying the person I become.
Power of Being Decisive- Be Sure in Whatever You Do- Stop Questioning Yourself Starting NOW!
You! Come here! What’s up?! Who the fuck are you?
Freedom of outcome- saying epic things might be even better than getting a girl home.
People are asking about what style is better- it’s the one that you believe in.
Be sure of myself- don’t question if I “should” kiss her now. Be self- amused, decide what’s funny and she will come along- combine it with building comfort.
Does she like it? Will society approve of this? Does she think if I’m too crazy? Am I too passive?
Cultivate Practical Intelligence- Surround Yourself with Challenging Viewpoints- Use Your Mind
I can learn from my own experience, or from social feedback (jumping off the bridge will get me killed- social feedback.) That’s great, but what if I want to be a pimp?
Social feedback will tell me that I’m not good enough, not good looking enough, not tall enough, not rich enough… million different things why I can’t do something- approaching people.
To become the pimp I have to look at the world through my eyes, not the society’s eyes, not my friend’s eyes, not even through girl’s eyes. Through my eyes only!
Look at the quality of music, food, TV shows and movies. Is most of it good? NO! It has mediocrity to it. Good things are not for everybody, most popular things are shit!
The fact that I even consider eating at McDonalds should tell me something.
Are belief systems made for people to be outstanding or to make you an average little bitch that fits in and doesn’t make a lot of noise.
Make the choice to not think the mainstream way. Don’t listen to Tyler either- he might tell me things that aren’t true sometimes.
When a human being speaks, it’s not accurate.
Think on your own! Don’t look for a reaction, be self- amused and enjoy because life is short.
I want to stand out, school tells me to fit in- materials will conflict, so I will make a choice.
Don’t bother with what the group says– what does RSD say, what does that group say? One guy said that, and other guy said something else. What is true?
Find out on my own!
There is no method. Cut off the group thinking!
The Only Constant is YOU- Faith Whatever Experience you are Having is what you NEED At the Time
An example is when a guy gets dumped and then craves this girl (wants to feel her, touch her) and becomes sad and frustrated. He doesn’t see that there is a bigger picture to that, and wants to do whatever it takes to get her back (manipulate her.)
When a guy steals a girl that I was talking to see what you can learn from it (if that guy is incredibly better than you.)
In my life the only constant thing is ME. Everything else is just projection around me that comes and goes.
Have faith that the journey is leading me somewhere- beyond the surface level.
Real Social Dynamics Secrets on the RIGHT Way to Build Social Momentum
When you minimize time between social interactions you get into amazing state- almost impossible to do it right away.
Momentum becomes a crutch when you’re hopping that the next person will be nice to you, and then to the next person- seeking a positive reaction.
Carmelo Anthony- in Basketball you have to act, not react (losing team starts reacting to the winning team, and they are thinking about getting back instead of enjoying their own rhythm.)
Girls that fall into your frame easily are easy to get- it’s easy to say anything (come here! I will go make u with that girl!) If you’re in your rhythm and your reality, but if girl is much more attractive you’re seeking reaction (I will go make out with that girl, do you like it?)
Enjoy just being out, they are not a source of my fun. I’m in my intent and acting, not looking for other people and reacting.
Recognizing Patterns and Learning from Every Day/Night You Go Out!
You may be a pretty cool guy, but if you fail to recognize certain patterns you’re fucked.
Pattern might be which girl will sleep with you, or which one wants the day 2. If you don’t sleep with that girl, she will probably flake.
You learn patterns of people, but also patterns of your own mind (when do I become vulnerable, needy, confident…)
I have to go out more, approach more and call more.
Hammering it Out Till the Bitter Fucking End! Till you leave a Piece of Your Soul Behind!
Learning things that I have never done before, and sometimes things don’t go my way and I have to hammer it.
If I quit when I don’t feel optimal I’ll find that I’ll never feel it. My body will always come up with some excuse not to. The question is if I had a gun to my head, could I do it and the answer is always yes.
You can quit and be a little bitch or you can hammer it through.
Wake Up! Blow past Socially Conditioned “Narratives” as a Crutch for Your Worldview
Stories that make us have a purpose- going to high school, college, get a girl, get married and eat pizza…
They give us a sense of comfort, but they might not work for us.
Fighting in a war- makes them feel good to be a part of something, but it might not be that great.
Trusting the social narrative to eat American meals and get insured, but later get a cancer which was not because of bad luck, but because of choosing to eat that kind of food.
“I’m French, I smoke.”
We see it as something bigger, but it defines us and we will die alone.
We’re told that we fall in love and get married, but if you show feelings before you hook up she will blow you off.
Spending money for college and then not getting a job.
See world independently through your eyes.
Advanced in The Game- Should You Engage in Self Doubt or Further Densify Self Certainty?
If you think that what you do is good, it’s good (placebo effect.)
You need self -doubt and self- certainty- self- certainty is good when you’re out and you’re sure about yourself which will work amazingly, but self- doubt must also happen so I can learn from people that are better than me.
An advanced student has a decision to humble himself and lose the advantage of being completely certain in order to get to the next level.
Don’t feed into your frame- change clothes, act… to get better, have better girls and be on better parties.
Being narcissist vs. being humble
Be willing to learn from people below me also.
Break Free of Environmental Hypnosis and the Impulse to Harmonize- Be Entitled in all Situations
This is the venue that you are scared of? This place is Awesome!
Don’t try to fit in (trying to be calm around hipsters that are calm) – have good time being myself.
Don’t look around to see people that may look cool or may seem like they’re having a lot of fun. Fuck that! Stop harmonizing, and get into my own rhythm.
Just pimp it around anybody- you don’t need to be a hipster, a nerd or John Travolta.
Look at the bear- it’s just my imagination. Hipster is not a giant blue bear.
Saying looks don’t matter and clothes don’t matter means for guys that are good.
Congratulate myself every time I don’t let the environment suck me in and I stay in my own rhythm and own it!
Building an Ecosystem of Abundant Positive Emotions to Be at Ease Regardless of Outside Influence
Not having a lot of women makes you feel needy and drops your status.
When you go through a break up it’s good to hook up with lots of women to reestablish abundance, being self- centered and get a girl back (you don’t care anymore anyway.)
If you want a girl you fuck 10 other women to get skills and mindset to get her- primal idea of PU community.
Become more confident, happier… to naturally get her.
Work your way up- first 7 and work up to 10- by the time I get there I will have all the skills and become a pimp.
Having family, reading books, getting in the nature, having lots of friends and project to work on.
That’s personal Ecosystem of positive emotions- if you take one of these things out, I’m still in a great mood to do anything, and including getting the girl (so many things are going on.)
There are guys that have nothing and are pimping it, but it is an advantage to have it. An ideal is to have the ecosystem and girls- having a great state without drugs (nice steady high.)
When a guy has only one girl, his ecosystem is weak and she’s fulfilling his emotional needs. If she leaves, he’s destroyed. Have a lot of foundations, not just her.
Insecurities? If You’re Gonna Do This, Shut the Fuck up and LET’S GET ON WITH IT!
We don’t want to break outside of our identity- who we think we are (we are trapped and weak.)
Break out of that!
If I’m not born rich and famous, I need to shut up and do it. I have a million disadvantages that I can’t control, but I can control my actions- just doing it (approach, laugh and be positive.)
Get it done! If I will lie under a tree and do nothing, nothing good will happen.
Go to the dance floor, approach, pull the girl, earn money and own it!
It may look weird, but at the end of the day I’m still doing it– like Tyler does approaching, public speaking, making videos that others can judge, write letter…
Everyone might think I’m stupid, but I’m still doing it.
Sex, Social Skills and Validation? Why keep going after 10 years in The Game?
After 10 years, sex is guaranteed, you’ve proven to yourself that you can do it, but it’s a path that you’ve chosen and you stick with it.
Choose the path of mastery because you love it.
How Rising from a Prison of Depression/ Social Anxiety/ Negativity is Like Crawling from a Pit
The Dark Knight Rises- rising from a pit for hard case newbies
Watching everything that he cares about falling apart while he’s mentally and physically hurt
Seeing how your life is falling apart and watching other people’s lives improving.
I am normal and have will power and motivation that some guys don’t have for granted. Use it!
First- rate madness
The Ultramind solution, 150 healthiest foods, Meditation, gym
Admit that you suck and stop comparing yourself to other people, it’s my mental movie, doesn’t matter what anyone thinks.
Cut the rope and be willing to do anything to crawl out of it.
Stay Awake! Amp Up the “Macro Momentum” and Fuel your “Adventurous Self” with new Experiences
Micro momentum- gets a guy that never approached before approaching
Macro momentum- bigger, you never want to let it go. When you let it go, you’re done (NBA)
The hardest part is creating a habit. The doing becomes easy when your brains adjust it, but don’t take a long break. Once you have a momentum it’s not hard to keep it going.
In my mind we have conservative and adventurous self. Adventurous self finds new things, conservative makes you feel appreciative for what worked in the past.
Most people get caught in the conservative one. Society is in the conservative self- does some things all the time and pushes you in.
Continually push new things in life– books, movies, locations, girls…
When you go into a conservative self you fall asleep, when you’re in adventurous self-there’s so many things going on that you stay awake.
People go down a few percent over a year instead of going up– bartenders get older, but do the same thing (stuck in a routine.)
“If you stick with it long enough the river will float dead bodies down by you” They will get stuck in a routine and stop being the competition.
Have more why’s to keep yourself motivated, even if you don’t find one reason to be that important anymore.
I will never be complete; the game is one of the things that will keep me awake.
Go do cool shit, or my life will pass me by.
Rants on Pushing through Pain, Earned Breaks, and Focusing on what you want
If you power through you have another reserved tank, and then another reserved tank that you don’t know about. Once you tap into it you will get a piece of mind. If you don’t push yourself you will have mental noise and you will not be calm.
Breaks has to be earned, they are good, but don’t have breaks all the time.
When guys that are chill all the time get thrown off, they want to preserve it and come to their dark side, breaks are much better if you push yourself.
Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want.
As people focus on the bullshit, they bring more of it into their life.
They don’t get the quick fix so they simplify it- I’m not hot… how about, I’m a fucking pussy?
When you build a track log of goals and knock them down- prove to yourself that you can complete something and your confidence will be build (small projects.)
Being decisive in Unclear Situations Where the Right Move Could be Hit or Miss
Ability to look at the situation where I don’t know what to do and make an educated decision fast
It doesn’t always pay out. You can pick the hotter girl or less hot girl that flakes less.
First get more solid ones, and then work your way up.
Secrets to Win/ win Wingman ship where you Both Massively Improve
Try to improve themselves, wingman’s success motivates you to do better.
Amp each other up.
When your friend is pushing you- are you crying or are you gathering testosterone to amp yourself up?
Art of Beating Yourself Up- Be very Self Critical but ONLY for What’s Within Your Ultimate Control
People beat themselves up after one approach or the whole night- they think how cool they would be when they approach and their self- image gets destroyed.
Never beat yourselves up based on outcomes, but on the processes that you take.
Sometimes being happy when having a terrible night, sometimes being down when taking a girl home, because you didn’t do your processes
Beat yourselves up sometimes or your life will go off the rails.
Have faith in the process and the result will come.
ANYTHING Works! Do NOT Open Half Hearted! Own WHATEVER it is You Do
Funny and high energy build, or be in a meditating state.
Walk with her and talk- being self- amused until she gets anime eyes.
You can’t be charming and dominant- pick one.
When she has anime eyes you can kiss her right away.
If your brain doesn’t know that I will hammer it out till the bitter end you will find a million excuses.
If you’re already in a good mood with your friends you don’t have to do a lot- it’s not a mission, you have to do it when you’re being passive.
Think for yourself, but use common sense- if everybody is dancing and having a good time, you can’t talk to everyone with low energy.
Deploying the handshake- don’t push her past her compliance level, if she doesn’t want to do a handshake, pretend nothing happened and keep chatting.
Structure the game so that she has the most chance of meeting you.
Transcending Drama with Girls and Drama in Your Own Mind!
Drama in relationship can fuck up your life.
Be proactive, not reactive. If there is a problem, let go and move on. It’s not worth it, because I become less attractive to other girls.
People that have no goals love drama, because they’re bored and nothing else is going on.
You can teach a girl, sometimes it’s worth it…
If a girl keeps you in drama mode after a while your business and life will go down, and girl will have no competition. It usually happens because of scarcity. Fuck scarcity!
The more personal it seems, the more universal it probably is. Why me?
Don’t cry and complain about it.
We are the best; we’re having so much fun, she’s so lucky so be a part of that. It doesn’t matter whose better looking, I’m cooler and have more fun.
Assume All Attention is Funny and Positive! Taking Nothing Personal Communicates you’re Self Assured
You take it personally when low adrenalin pumps to you- someone says something about you.
You can take things as a joke- people realize you have higher status.
Any attention is good!
Secrets of Expression without Self Consciousness
Gagman Style- permission to let go
You think you’re James Bond- let go of that image, be like a clown man having fun and different
People want you to be free- when they see someone let go, they can too
Women want you to let go- spank, grab… just do!
Unleash Genius- Secrets to Rapid Learning and Implementing Huge Amounts of New Ideas
RAS – what’s important, or what is not important
If you don’t believe that what you’re reading will help you, you will not internalize it.
You have to have a sense of urgency, stay engaged…
Belief that I can actually do what I’m learning. The reason that things are easy is that you believe that these things will give me a payoff.
Create the urgency– if a girlfriend breaks up, cheats on you or you have a horrible night.
I need to go out more, create urgency by not succeeding and seeing I almost got her to keep me motivated.
The more I learn, the more I’m optimistic, the healthier foods I eat, and more successful I am.
I want to know, I want to experience- passion and able to absorb more information.
It’s easy, I believe in it and I enjoy in it.
Do it as soon as possible, it will get harder and harder.
Learning is about the belief that you can do it- people with optimism will apply it. If you believe you can do it, you will do it.
Have the journey that you want to go on and do it. I value my time and will use it productively.
If you don’t believe in yourself, why would you not watch TV, smoke, drink and eat shit?
Power of Personal Standards! Anything less is Pathetic!
Negative motivation is when you break your standards- you’re fucking pathetic.
Not have the sex life you want, not having the money that you want- it is fucking pathetic!
A lot of people do not have standards. I’m going to play video games and masturbate. Don’t throw away your twenties. Twenties are fuck years- use your dick!
If you don’t live up to that- you’re fucking pathetic!
It must be a MUST, not a SHOULD.
I have to be strong first, or I can’t help other people.
Have the standard! If you miss the work out it’s pathetic. If you miss meditation it’s pathetic!
Do not hesitate beating yourself up.
Look at what I did wrong- what would I do differently today, a month ago, a year ago? Take responsibility and change it.
Formulate a plan and then stop beating yourself up. As long as you’re taking action, you’re making progress, you feel good!
If you don’t have standards and think your shitty life is fine, you will sit around and not do anything.
Sitting at home is not going to motivate you, going out and having close calls will motivate you.
Evolve Beyond Dumbed down Mainstream Consciousness! Seek the Deeper Truth!
“We have to pull each other up.” If people are given things they are not engaged.
“Be yourself.” It can mean a lot of things- both good and bad, it’s more complex
One way to become good is turning off the group think, or not- depends on which one pays off for you.
Group think saves time on secondhand experience, but if your small bold ginger; don’t listen to group think if you want girls.
Group think- it’s almost weird to eat healthy food.
Consciousness of most people- they want to save time and energy and want that others tell them what to do.
People want to hear simple truths, and they love it because they don’t have to think.
When you start thinking it feels really good. To turn off TV, junk food, media…
Guys that are pimps know that group think pimps you. It makes you believe in things that are not accurate.
If I just work on inner game things will be fine. NO! The devil is in the details, work in all areas.
Power of Honest Signals- High Fidelity Communication That is Hard to Fake!
Values that come through everything- honesty
Have a strong communication that is honest, but what about trashing a girl?
Honest Signal is hard to fake.
Buying girl a drink is not hard to do, making laser eye contact tells much more.
Calling girl a slut and reacting the right way is hard to fake. On one level you don’t believe it and it’s dishonest, but you’re showing strong qualities in DNA and you will have good genes.
Slut has no weight; newbies screw it up by reacting wrong to her reaction– he sucks.
It’s the way that domination makes you show physical power, but if you don’t have physical power if focuses attention on that fact.
If I would do what’s honest to me, I would just stay in my comfort zone.
Be self- amused, what’s interesting to me…that’s all honest.
If you don’t get flirtation that is a problem- spinning her emotions to get her turned on. My ability to do that is an honest signal. Most people get pissed off because of that- not because they don’t want to do it, but because they can’t!
It’s a communication that is more honest that the bullshit that other guys’ do- it’s not used for your mother, it’s used for women that you desire.
Summon “Natural” Carefree Headspace on Command! Take Self Image out of Interactions and Have Fun!
Naturals have fun. Tyler gets paid to get himself in that same mood and teach others.
As soon as anything stops being fun, you have a problem– with pickup, basketball…
You need to have emotional control- get in the mood, not getting frustrated.
When the game becomes fun, you take ego and identity out of it you get the success.
When you want to do terrible, or you do it as an experiment it starts working great.
The world is my pickup laboratory.
Getting 20$ back each time I approach, approaching within 30 seconds or get punched…
By wearing a garbage bag you become a natural, if you look your best and get rejected it sucks.
Find ways to pull ego out of it.
Have many good sources of validation, hobbies.
Be happy, you’re not one of naturals who get annoying and bitchy when they get in a bad mood, while trained guy like me can generate it. OF COURSE I CAN BE ON THE LEVEL OF THAT NATURAL GUY!
A natural might have a whole life of positive experiences, I can get that in a year and I can know how everything works to avoid the down time.
If you suck, you suck- you need to go out all the time. But then later you can go out only 2 nights a week.
You’re more invested if you go 7 nights a week, expecting more results, you want it more.
If you go 2 nights a week you have more fun.
Women force us to have fun which is good, without them we would not go out so much.
Spinning the Magic vs. Permanent Attraction (Emotional Stimulation vs. Polarity)
The Superior Man
It’s shocking how women cheat- you have to become to your power as a man. You have to stay interested in her, be engaging. If another guy will be more interested, she might do it.
You have polarity- look at her without talking, she falls in love in eye contact, stay calm and grounded- move her around, kiss her, without even talking to her. Not as a technique!
Anthony Robbins Date with Destiny- Talks Reason for Self Development at a High Level
Pay offs come years and years after.
Usually there are two types of people in self- development: Total losers that would do anything to change their life and fucking bosses that just want to get better and better.
The people in the middle feel like they are in the top 3%, while they are average– ego.
RAS is interested in what’s a thread and what’s value- in self- development it’s mainly value- “buy in”
Don’t try to convince yourself and others that you have it all- average, be the big boss that has bigger dreams.
Self- development is like working out, eating healthy- habits, skillset that you need to maintain
I need a private educator- passion
RSD nation is made for people that go out regularly.
90% of results come from program Foundations!
Gain a SHIT TON of Life Experiences: Open RAS to Abundance of Opportunity, TREAT Each One as SCARCE!
Opportunities are rear, don’t be abundant with them. Don’t let them slip away. It may be the last time you can do something.
Life is scarce, enjoy and use it!
Some people have success barriers- blocks them of expanding their mind, so they stay the same
Everybody says they want to do stuff- but they will not do anything! They are like a plant- once they have sun and water; they want to be stuck there.
Travel sounds fun, but people don’t want to think and pre plan it.
I have short life, I want to fuck like crazy, my dick is scarce- fuck whenever you can, building a business is scarce- you can’t build it when you’re older…
Have friends that want to do stuff.
Get yourself out of auto pilot by doing stuff. It’s not about who experienced the most, it’s about staying awake.
You’re not going to do it later, do it now- don’t lose it.
Why Using Money or Prostitutes to Get Girls Creates a Cycle of Diminished Swagger and Self Respect!
Money Card is a horrible method- she will text you and call you, but she will be cold and want another date. It’s pathetic!
Prostitute rewards you to be unsocial! Be a pimp, but not as a trick.
Some rules are rules, they just work, obey them- don’t pay before you fuck her.
The only thing creepier than learning how to meet girls is not learning how to meet girls
Make as much money as you can, but don’t use it for pimping. You can spend money on her, just make sure you fucked her and she’s not using you.
Want to Get Married or in a Relationship? Achieve Freedom and Choice!
Freedom from neediness, sucking emotions and approach anxiety and transition abundance
If you choose to do it, then do it- from choice and abundance!
Happily Ever After= Entropy Ever After: Your Fantasy of Getting the Right Girl Redefined!
Part of being a man is desiring to be free, make her want to trap you instead of the other way around.
Some frame you set that are wrong will poison the relationship within a year or two.
Your Girlfriend is a Raging Slut! How Does That Make You feel?
She likes to get fucked; she fucked two guys in a same night…
Does that make you insecure, upset and mad? She loves sex.
Does it bother you that she’s more sexually experienced? Does it make you feel like she’s comparing you to other guys?
My girlfriend has declined more sex than I ever will.
When she loves you, she’s not comparing you to other guys. She completely blocked other guys out even if she fucked the most dominant amazing guy in the world.
Women have a positive ecosystem- her male friends are a part of that, she will not fuck them.
If you make her not talk to them, then she might, she can whenever she wants.
Hot women will fuck a lot of guys, they are more sexual and they expect you to do the same.
I want the girl to like sex, I can’t wait to fuck her all day, I love the fact that she’s talking to other guys, they are doing the work and later I will take her home.
Women love men that have no judgmental look toward sex- the kind of guys that she can tell sexual experiences and bring girls to have an orgy if she wants to.
From a newbie’s perspective it sucks- you ask her why did she do it, if she respects herself… she finds out you’re not cool and leaves.
You’re jealous because you feel you’re not a part of it. If you lived in abundance you would not feel that- if you had threesomes and fucked 1000 girls.
It’s about intimacy, time spent and bonding, not about having sex only with each other.
Challenge yourself to enjoy watching her getting turned on by other guys and realizing that I’m the boss.
Instead of getting positive emotions from the cheap way (she only wants me), have positive emotions from being present to the moment, motion creates emotion and be grounded.
Everyone can have fun with each other.
Six Steps for Ultra High Consistency in the Game
The cheap way to getting positive emotions- getting validation from Facebook, compliments, wanting girls to be nice to you… it’s based on self -image.
The proper way is being present to the moment; motion creates emotion (doing something you love, like public speaking) and ecosystem of positive emotions (hobbies, friendships, reading, sex…)
Addiction from positive emotions the cheap way is terrible if your first approach doesn’t go well- self-image enhancement. Don’t rely on self- image.
Meditate and be present to the moment, motion creates emotion- enjoy the process and be fully committed to conversation and don’t try, instead act like you feel and be blown off like a man
- Open all- I have an award winning excuse making system
- Minimize time between interactions
- Never judge myself- I did it 100 out of 10.
- It’s all funny- the blow offs, make outs, sex- self amusement
- Short and sweet early, burn it to the ground later- exception if she’s down to fuck
- Add a little bit more into every single one
If you get caught up in wanting more positive emotions from her, stop and go away!
Warning #1: Too Much Theory And Too Little Action May Result In Information Overload, And Even Death
For every hour of information you absorb, be sure to go out and interact with women for a good 2-4 hours of internalize it.
Secrets to Getting Back in the Game at an Elite Level after Time off
Massive amount of personal momentum- friends watch television, I read and work!
Mind isn’t used to you doing that- constantly think about it, train that muscle to do it longer.
Have a process to do it- Owen says only “hi” the first night and then works his way up again.
The only hard part of momentum is the lift off! When you’re in momentum is just win after win!
Others will not do it and stay bitches, be pathetic and have excuses every single time and watch you succeed and have fun!
It’s the same with working out, getting back on the diet, making money, reading…
The Best Person To Dominate: Yourself. The Best Way To Stop Self Pity: Make Others Feel Good!
Having so much bad rationalizations, not acting… dominate over laziness!
Dominate over those fears, over yourself!
Girls are amazing, they don’t want to get in your way, and guys are cool they don’t want to get in your way, guess who wants to get in your way? You!
I am capable of so much more- the day I accomplish everything I want I can hate others.
The war of art
By focusing on others having a good time, they will make you have a good time.
Help others become successful, you will become successful.
Would you rather be King Charles who was given all or the king who hustled his way up to the top?
Breakup Survival- Why a Fresh Breakup Is Your Best Chance To Get Good At Game!
It’s not bad; it will get you to the next level- you will rise up.
Tyler tries to fill the gap with other girls, becomes more needy and girls stop responding.
Break up will teach you not to be state dependent.
You’re still you, its great reference experience to get from the bottom back up.
Will I care about this when I’m grounded, after meditation? Cool, don’t care about it.
It’s training me to get back to center, same for money.
You have to get up and build your ecosystem back up, get back to gym, reconnect with friends, business, meeting girls…
The girls will hook up with another guy the same day; you are forced to rise up again.
Tyler’s Secret to Effortless Motivation: “Buy in” To What You’re Capable of Accomplishing
You’re avoiding being rejected, losing the state… you don’t believe you can get laid, you think you could get a number or a conversation.
You’re playing not to win, but not to lose.
You get what you want and don’t get a horrible rejection, but you also don’t get the girl.
Motivational seesaw- believe you can close!
Do not quit, there are a million reasons why we can fail for an action taker, but he will succeed against all odds.
When you talk to a girl you want her to go away, you want her to flake you, it’s not familiar territory, and you don’t want it to happen.
Every behavior leads to an upward spiral or to a downward spiral.
Buy into results that I can produce- see the future and see positive outcomes on long term process
People don’t see a future, so they focus on the instant gratification- drugs, alcohol, junk food, TV…
Not waiting for faith or luck-no control with who you end up with.
The more you think about that girl the more nervous you will be the next time you see her.
She will not feel comfortable.
Be good with women in general and you will know how to get a specific woman
You can’t be needy, jealous, insecure, or afraid to leave.
Women can meet the next guy any time they want, you can sit by yourself all night without talking to nobody.
When you get your ideal woman you realize she was not your ideal woman.
I commit that I will make this part of my life handled.
Most guy’s mentality:
- Scarcity mentality (you feel that she’s the only girl that liked you in a while or that you can’t have that kind of connection with another girl- Hollywood movies, media presents it. You think about this girl, but she doesn’t)
- Men put women on a pedestal- you see her as an object that you want to suck value from
- They blame their lack of success on not having money or looks- they block evidence out because it would strip their excuses off (they don’t pay attention to guys that are successful, but don’t have any of that)
- Weak sense of reality and fear of rejection- self-fulfilling prophesy: once you lose it you will not get rejected as much, girls will be friendly and attracted to who you are as a person
- Men make excuses for their natural desires as a man (embarrassed by the fact that they’re attracted to women, waiting for her to pass them by and then check her out, when a friend asks them if they like a girl they say no even if they do, they hide it from their parents- be honest to yourself, if you like her look at her, don’t hold it back- if you like her ask her for a phone number) Be comfortable with being a sexual man, it’s a part of your identity
- They attach too much meaning to his interaction with girls- if one of them pays attention to them they will think about her all the time even if she just smiles at you-don’t attach meaning to the outcome
- They try to convince her with logic- I have a new car, let’s go to this nice restaurant- get an emotional response
- Tries to impress and please people
- Radiates neediness and insecurity
- Sells himself short and makes himself too available.
Develop good boundary (Deep inner game) – what behavior will you accept and what not.
- Not willing to walk away from people who treat them badly
- Believe that it is respectful and chivalrous to ask permission from women instead of taking the lead
- Are boring and generic and try to fit in – stand out from other guys
- Don’t understand female psychology or what attracts them – they listen to women ’s advice, women picture the hottest guy (that they are intimidated by) and then they picture him being nice to her, but if you don’t have that status it will not work!
- Often find themselves in the “friend zone” – they think that if they will be friends with her for a long time and listen to her problems with other guys that at some point she will realize that she doesn’t want that jerk and she wants the nice guy- girl thinks that he is her girlfriend that she can trust and one day he steps out of the closet and says “I like you, I want to be with you” and it freaks her out
Shift in thinking – let go of your identity and beliefs
Money and looks are not emotional triggers
What a woman responds to are her EMOTIONS
To be attractive to women, they must feel an emotional response to you
That comes from confidence, humor, social skills, dominance, charisma, being different and unpredictable…
The fact that there are not a lot of guys who are good at this is because they don’t stick to it- it’s like playing a sport, it takes a couple of years, but you are making progress all the time, while most guys get one girlfriend and they’re out.
- Approach and interact with women constantly.
- The world is your pickup lab
- All rejections are feedback
- Take nothing personally. The same girl who rejected you probably would have liked you if you’d conveyed your personality more attractively. It’s not rejection to you, but rejection to your approach.
- Think long term and go after the skill: be process oriented not outcome oriented- for now it’s not about the girl
- Progressively desensitize (not caring – confident) yourself to being around women and taking the lead
- It’s just socializing, it’s 100% normal
- Small chunk, learning every night
Problem: read and read and watch and watch and study until you get the perfect approach. Stop doing that and go out! Put the books down!
You will learn more in half and hour of practicing then in 10 hours of studying.
- Women who have sex with you are not all sluts. Don’t judge her, if she doesn’t feel like she will be judged she will go thru with it. If she has sex with you very fast that doesn’t mean she’s not girlfriend material. If you don’t have sex in 3 dates, you most likely won’t have sex with her, sex is not a big deal!
- The best way to get the girl you want is to have sex with her as soon as possible – first she wants to get know to your personality and find out if you’re congruent to what you’re projecting to be, she might test you, but as soon as she’s satisfied and feels good about you she’s ready! That does not require long time and countless dates.
- Women want a man who knows what he wants, and how to get it
- She usually won’t help you to do this: she wants you to figure it out for yourself
- Sometimes guys will wait to have sex with girls they really like because they feel like if they have sex too quickly that it will wreck the future relationship
Establish the distance quickly after meeting her- close the distance, kiss as soon as possible.
Disc 2 – watch the beginning of disc 2 and the end of disc 1 about a guy’s problem
Don’t treat a woman that you really like differently.
Build a process that becomes automatic– for women that you like is the same and easier to do since you practiced it so many times.
Be ready to walk away from those girls as well – if they do something that you don’t approve!
Don’t treat her differently, thinking about her, telling your friends that she’s special to you – it will get inside your head and you will be nervous.
Just have a good time with her, convey personality and give her the opportunity to see what you’re really all about.
Being a guy that is just fun, meeting girls is no big deal to him, he’s not being judgmental.
- “I can learn the magic lines to get women, jump out of the shadows, get one, and take her back to my nerd-lair.”
- “This is too scary. I want the magic pill.” No one will fix you, every person that you learn from is just a resource, but you are responsible for making this true. Don’t be the guy that has the story about why he doesn’t meet girls and doesn’t have the life that he wants.
- “I’ve never accomplished anything in my life, I don’t like myself, and yet I can’t understand why I’m not good at this.” Learn to stick with something, having a plan, progress, not turning away and quitting, test yourself! Push outside your comfort zone.
Cool guy thinking
- I will build confidence and social skills over a period of time
- I will be a naturally attractive guy – becoming a better person
- I will become a better person for women to be with, inside and out
- I will commit to stepping out of my comfort zone and getting myself out there
- I don’t view this as work anyway, it’s fun!
Whenever you will wake up and realize that even if you had a rough night, you’re alive and fine you will be desensitized, and will care less about what they think.
How do you get good with women?
- Commit to going 2 nights per week.
- Commit to starting conversations with 10 women.
- You learn how to open conversations with anyone.
- You learn to keep the conversation going.
- Learn to get their phone numbers
- Learn to meet up with you
- Learn to get a day 2
- Learn to get a woman to your place
- You learn to physically escalate.
- Learn about your body language, her body language, confidence, humor, charisma, and sexual tension.
- When you start out pick a default way to start conversations, hook attention, create a vibe, get physical comfort, ask for a number, and move to another venue.
- That way you have no excuses to sit there when you see a girl you want to meet!
What I really want is some default way to do anything so I never have an excuse and say I don’t know what to say, how to get her number, how to ask her out…
Don’t think you have to be very different from who you are to become attractive – convey your NATURAL personality, don’t be someone else.
Ideal number of approaches is 1.
It’s about becoming comfortable with a stranger in an unfamiliar situation.
- Clubs have the number of girls that you need to practice
- Clubs have the number of girls that you need to hit state
- Clubs make daytime seem easy
- Learn attitudes and styles of interactions of social people, get comfortable in places that are one level above your comfort level
- Learn to hold court
- Learn to befriend large groups of people
- Learn to handle social pressure, it feels like everybody is having more fun than you, but the truth is if you meet one new person you met more than the majority of them have (most came with friends, cousins…)
- Learn to out-alpha guys
- Learn to handle funny logistical puzzles
The person that has stronger beliefs will affect the other person. If someone says where’s your drink? (Belief is that you have to drink to have a good time) don’t say I’m already so wasted, just say I don’t drink.
Just go on a newbie mission and work your ass off to get this part of life figured out.
Some guys can’t do clubs because they have a lifestyle or occupation that makes it inconvenient or impossible
If so, you must find any social gathering where you can meet women easily
That varies from city to city, but wherever you are go out and find a place where meeting large numbers of women is realistic so that you can practice
- Voice- do you change it when she teases you
- Eye contact – can you hold it?
- Body language
- Social skills
- Not putting up with nonsense
Women don’t reject each other because they don’t want anything from each other. So if you’re just there to have a good time, results will be positive.
Lack of accountability
Girls as choosers (sort of)
Change her mood not her mind
Girls live in the emotion of the moment and backwards rationalize (we do too, but more in other areas)
She will not do anything to have sex, she has to say that “it just happened.” Don’t ask if she wants to come to your house, just do it, take responsibility off her shoulders.
You show her your world, but not in order to get a certain reaction or approval, but to have a good time and then she sees your personality and she chooses you.
Women live in the emotion of the moment and rationalize backward (she doesn’t want to come with you and then you say 2 or 3 things to change her mood and then she wants to come with you.)
Most guys build affection toward one girl and then they want her to feel the same, but she might have no attraction towards you one second, and the next second she wants you.
Secret society –double standard (you might date her for 3 months and not get anywhere, but when she get’s home she calls another guy and has sex with him) A certain type of guy can have a threesome with her, a certain type of guy can have sex with her right away, but a certain type of guy get’s almost nowhere with her and that’s the guy that’s judgmental and puts too much value on the interaction by taking it too seriously and if she wants to have fun she will hurt him and everything will be too serious.
Women enjoy sex as much as men, they always wait for a cool guy to come around.
Girl eye code (so as to not feel slutty and ratify feelings – if her friends enjoy you, she will enjoy you more)
Why girls are drawn to clubs subconsciously
Clubs as a re-validation venue and blow off steam venue… On some level, girls go there wanting to meet a cool guy
Dancing as sexual exhibitionism – they dance for hours
Dancing as a programming defense wall – for guys who are not cool
Peer group jealousy/protectiveness, and wanting to have a fun night without getting hit on
The lifestyle of the professional hottie
Buying temperature – when emotions (wanting sex) take over logic (social conditioning) – when she says no (not yet), cut it off, say other things (change her mood) then ask again, same for kissing – if she stays it means she’s into you
Nancy Friday, “My secret garden” sexual fantasies (Power sexuality – repressed because of social conditioning)
Some girls are screwed up (just like some guys) because they learned from their family that fighting is a precursor to love
Value matrix: they want men to fall in love with them, they dance for hours, coquette, style themselves, read Cosmo strategy guides, hold out sex with boyfriends, make their boyfriends jealous to generate emotions – recognize what’s going on and don’t bother with them
Congruence test – sometimes people will try to force you into a submissive role that isn’t really who you are, this can happen often in environments where people are drunk or with girls who are used to guys putting them on a pedestal (you’re trying to impress them, trying to qualify to them)
- When a guy says “Show me how cool you are!”
- When a girl you just met says, “Buy me a drink”
- When someone who wouldn’t reciprocate says, “Go to the store and get me some food.”
- When a girl you just met says, “Is that a pickup line?” or “You’re a jerk!”
- When that happens, answering logically means that you buy into that frame
Congruence test responses
- To answer straightforwardly, but be visibly emotionally unaffected by what they’re trying to do
- To not answer at all as if what they said was too far outside your reality to process
- To cut their thread off by not responding and asserting a new topic of conversation –answer a question that you wish you would been asked
- To answer in the way they want but make them wait – yea I’ll do it in a bit
- To answer almost in the way they want but do something funny that’s slightly different
- To jokingly call them out for trying to step up
- To joke that what they said is playing up to earlier observations you made of them – call her a trouble maker and then call her again when she does something
- To joke that they’re too strong for you to handle and that they win – wow you got me, you’re just to powerful
- To answer with something equally random and absurd as the role they’re asserting
- To answer cryptically and make them guess what you mean
- To answer their question or do what they ask, but make them do something first
- To jokingly imitate them
- To give them a weird look
- To ignore them entirely
- To playfully misinterpret what they said, jokingly suggesting that
- They tried to compliment you
- Tried to impress you – “you don’t have to impress me”
- Tried to come on to you – “I need to know you better before we can do something like that”
- They were kidding and trying to entertain or help you – “ha-ha, awesome”
- They said something funny and weird that they didn’t mean to say
- They mumbled and you couldn’t hear them (making them repeat themselves)
This kind of frame control can be one of the most severely misunderstood aspects of social dynamics. It’s something that’s to be used sparingly otherwise it immediately comes across as obnoxious overcompensation.
Women will do that to guys that they want to know better, not to some dorky guys.
Be as passive as possible, don’t let it enter your reality. Don’t care if every woman likes you, just don’t care about anything. Don’t do all this stuff to make one girl that blew you off like you, it’s reaction seeking again and it doesn’t work, it’s also the wrong attitude.
If you fail with that one women, don’t get stuck with that, who cares!
Elements of a good pickup
Don’t get stuck inside your head memorizing a structure, go with the flow
Any solid pickup has the following elements:
- Open- attention
- Hook- stand out
- Touch- establish it, comfortable
- Vibe- sharing funny stories…
- Qualify her – give her reason why you want to see her again
- Venue change
Accomplishment intro (give him good introduction, brag about your friend), or joke merge, or swap out
Joking around with your friends and inside jokes – she wants a piece of that
Body language towards your wing –when your friend comes pay attention to him, be happy that he’s there, catching him up with conversation
Girls don’t want to be the party, they want to be around the party. If you can’t create a vibe inside your group you can’t create a vibe in another group.
Getting your wing in with a 2set “My friend is bored”
2-set dynamics with 2 on 2 approaches – conversation will split, both girls need to be into it, or the other one will leave as well
Girls need to watch out for each other, they know that the buying temperature goes up with alcohol and dancing and need to cock block to make sure that their friend will not go home with someone that they shouldn’t go home with.
You and your friend tooling each other as a joke to demonstrate value
Show enthusiasm and be proud of having your friends like there’s something big going on, the same things goes for terrible house or job… talk about good stuff and passion.
Warm versus cold approaches
Working the room versus sticking to one girl
No eye contact is necessary… “You just appeared”
Get attention (tap on shoulder if she’s not facing you)
Establish dominance with your eye contact (don’t look down between sentences) and voice (nervous tickle)
Keep talking until they open up…”No way out.” – the point that you cross when she wants more that you stay than you to leave. Most guys are very reactive, they want the conversation to go very well, but you don’t know her and she doesn’t know you – you just need to convey personality. You enjoy what you talk about and don’t seek reaction, you will get approval, but you shouldn’t depend on it.
Structure opportunities to help them to talk. I don’t need an excuse to talk to girls, I open to give her the opportunity to talk to me and give me opinions and to start conversation
If girls ask you questions don’t let them take over and tool you. Sustain energy level.
If girls are seated then preferably either stand them up or sit down
Handling a rough landing with breaking rapport, pacing and humor
If girls are comfortable and you’re not it says you want it too much and she loses attraction.
Getting comfortable so you can work
Engaging late comers (don’t go backwards, but engage the quickly)
Re-initiating lost or interrupted approaches – talk about something else when something splits you up “I hate you, you have the same shoes as my sister and I shopped with her for 3 hours to get them. You got the last pair, didn’t you?”
Determining the relationships within the group – find it out quickly
Getting alone time with the girl
Approaching girls facing the bar
Approaching girls on the move (feet planted)
Approaching girls at a table (Is a seat available? Is purse on the seat?)
Approaching girls alone who wants to find her friends – help her find her friends, then talk to friends
Approaching mixed sets –talk to a guy, she will want in
Get use to being the guy that can open conversation with anyone anywhere anytime.
Stand out from other guys as quickly as possible – don’t be entertainment monkey, if they walk away when the entertainment is over you are
Add value to their night – stories, comments
Get them reacting to you for your own amusement
Cold reading –generic observation about somebody that applies to almost all people “you guys are crazy, you’re the most evil girls around here”
Teach them something of interest
Playful cold reads
Future adventures projection –made up scenario about you and her where you’re cool and she’s not
Role-playing – brother and sister, tricking people, games…
Busting them on their mannerisms – “you always look at each other when you talk”
Push/pull (giving validation and then taking it away) – “you’re amazing and weird at the same time”, but you should be able to give a genuine compliment as well
Elastic band snap-back effect – “you’re not a very good kisser- Yes I am I’ll prove it”
Disqualify yourself from being a possible boyfriend
Pimp talk – confident, but silly
Qualifying and challenging – “you’re not fun are you? I only talk to people that are fun.”
Silly games – weird handshakes, thumb wars…while having strong eye contact and smiling and leading!
Imitating them or other people
Being the cool guy in the club is being the guy that has fun and doesn’t care, don’t be the serious guy who imitates James Bond, because everybody is doing that.
- Pinging – touching back and forth, just don’t be the last one to touch
- Give her a short massage while hugging, then push her away – most guys will stick and act cool because they got some contact, pushing her against the wall then back off
- Teaching something physical nature
- Moving her around
Don’t get screwed up because of all information, know when to break rules and enjoy the moment.
- Hair pulling
- Neck biting
Slow down speaking
- Back scratching
- Smelling hair
Recap: core beliefs, standing out, logic and emotions, social conditioning, leading and body language, opening, plowing, looking at situation, getting touch going – remove awkwardness, deciding for a plan
When you go out let go of the information.
Disc 5 – stories from last night
- Be playful
- Tell funny or interesting stories
- Teach her funny things
- Ask her questions and misinterpret her answers
Deep and wide rapport – deep rapport is talking about one topic for a long time, wide rapport is talking about a million things
Flaking is because she has a different mindset the next day when her life moves on and she’s not drunk.
Don’t ask question after question, the vibe will go low. Instead misinterpret her answer or respond to it.
Try stopping the conversation and look at her to see if she will think of something to talk about and contribute to the conversation, if she doesn’t the conversation will end as soon as you run out of things to say.
Average guy’s strategy is qualifying and impressing a woman. It works against you.
Make her want to find out more about you – without trying to impress her, just keeping it fun
Vibing versus giving advice or having a set purpose
Essence of nerds
Building energy in the interaction
Knowing when to pipe in and understanding hierarchies
Knowing that people like you, even if they don’t you expect them to like you.
If people give you weird looks and you keep talking you can overpower, but you need to calibrate and know when to stop.
You can control the conversation and be the leader if you have all the attention with talking or if everybody is qualifying to you by saying “tell me more about this, wow that’s awesome…”
Lean back and see if the talking can be done without you.
Being very active in conversation can mean that you are very dominant and have the control or that you are basically a clown. Being very passive can mean that you are left out of the conversation or that others are trying to tell you, qualify to you…
Qualification – gives you a reason to call her
Having a standard of what you’ll respond to so she wants to impress
Commonalities – don’t say if it’s not true, if it’s true blow them up to make her excited…let her show you why her opinion is cool
Understanding and demonstrating authority in her world
Teaching her things that make her feel closer to you
Qualification and how It makes you showing interest –“I feel good around you, I want to hang out with you more”
Psychology behind qualification
Qualifying and then back peddling – if she tells you she’s a certain way saying you’re the opposite and you lack that part of your life
Using the emotionally unexplained
Showing her unique value to you – make her the person she wants to be
“Don’t show me belly button ring, I’ll fall in love with you.” She will pull you towards you even if she didn’t liked you as much.
Giving your criteria and having her try to reach it
A good vibe is truly the best and most natural qualifier
Try for the number on every girl you approach – you want it to be on auto pilot, you never know which one will call you back.
“Let’s hang out later. Get out your phone. Here’s my number. Call me so I have your number.”
“You know what? You’re drunk aren’t you? I liked you and would have called you, but you’re too drunk and you’ll forget about me. Are you drunk right now? If I call you, will you remember me?”
“You are either one of the coolest people I’ve met I the long time…Or like just a total weirdo. I’m curious about you now.”
“For the same reason that we’re having a great time talking right now, is why we both have to go. We both have friends that are waiting for us, because we’re social people. But now we have to go. Get out your phone. Call this number so I have your number.”
Venue Changing – the more venue you have experienced with her, less chance of flaking
Rule: OVERHYPE WHEREVER YOU’RE GOING – give her the reason to go, taking the burden of her shoulders
- Meet your friends
- Meet new people
- Take her to dance
- Take her home or for a drink at home (funny movie, get her on the bed, just lead and command)
- Take her to get a drink (water is good)
- See different parts of the club
- Checking out a different venue
- Go to after party
Find out about venues around the town, be prepared so you have no excuses (condoms, clean room…)
Go for venue change at a peak of buying temperature. For newbies try to see how quickly can you get her to change – getting her laughing
- Slow escalation
- Teasing by moving forward and pulling away
- Playing hard to get
- Figure out what she response to
- Wash rinse repeat – if she enjoys making out no means not yet
- Not arguing with token resistance
- Stopping and joking around to make it not a big deal
- Going for it when it’s right
- Lean away and she if she comes towards you, she can leave at any point, it’s not a big deal
When you call a girl you might feel apprehensive because you don’t want to lose the validation of her liking you previously
Realize that regardless of her reaction, it doesn’t de-validate that you did a great approach
Also realize that she may have liked you in the moment but could have a million reasons not to see you again (boyfriend, too inconvenient…)
The other reason you might feel apprehension is because you can’t read her body language or see what she’s thinking like you can face to face
That goes away with practice
You never know which girls will call back, know everything you talked about with each of them and call everyone of them.
Never take anything personally over the phone! She might be busy. Don’t be affected by it, cool people always have other people to hang out with.
Some people will say nothing if you don’t call them (cool people), some people will hold grudges and be mad at you.
If you have trouble on the phone you can use what you talked about on your last call to get your mouth moving
Sometimes it’s not a bad idea to just call and chat without suggesting a meet
Through trial and error you will eventually get a sense for when a girl is up for a second meet, and you’ll know when to suggest it
Come from a place of abundance, if you go out with her she can bring friends and you can bring friends and she can talk to whoever she wants, but if things start to go a little out of hand come to her, wave good bye to that guy and carry her to the other side.
Use the numbers of girls who don’t like you to work on your conversation skills
Take time out every once in a while to call all your numbers
It’s not a bad idea to keep your computer nearby and have a brief ledger of each girl and what you talked about.
Bring her somewhere you enjoy
Draw her into your world, make it cool – she can learn what you’re about
A day 2 should be casual and if you can do something fun that doesn’t involve money
Your value changes based on her current situation.
Nice guy: too supplicating
Macho guy: too arrogant
Both are coming from a place of reaction and overcompensation
Good guy: a good mix between the two. You have a strong sense of who you are
Recap on hook: A lot of guys don’t think about what they want, when they approach they just want to get away from pain, so they are just hoping to get her approval, they want her to be nice and she can feel that and she will move away.
How you’re feeling is a self-fulfilling prophesy – if you’re nervous it will not go well.
It’s about beliefs in your head.
When Tyler was first doing the approaches he has forced himself to do a certain number to get comfortable in these types of situations, later he has realized that he should not be attached to the outcome so he is meeting women naturally while he’s having a good time, but if in early stage he wouldn’t force himself he would probably talk to 0 women per night.
Snap back – when a guy gets really good with women and his validation jumps from 4 to 9 he just stops, because he doesn’t want to lose that level of validation.
The easiest way to meet girls is thru social circle.
By the end of the day the winners know that women are emotional, they like sex, they don’t respond to money…they get the frame, not being judgmental…
Most guys want the approval, hope that the girl will respond in the right way, hoping they will get a certain reaction, struggling to make conversation…
You need to build conversation muscle. You can talk to your friends with no problems, but with people who you don’t know or with people who matter to you the most and you want them to like you, you shut down. If you get past that, a whole new world opens up – new job, better women… opportunities will come to me.
Implementing a habit
Realize you’re not cut from a different cloth (most people will either try to cut a person down – he can do it because he’s younger… or they will admire them and become a fan and think that they are from a different world) do not think that other people can fix you, do it yourself.
You might not be that smart, but other people aren’t that smart either.
What one man can do, another man can do
Don’t wait for a girl to dump you. That is reactive, be proactive – have a series of habits that can help you
Be proactive and create the habit before the problem occurs
Come up with a plan (go out 2 days a week)
Make a choice just to get out there, even if conditions aren’t ideal – make a decision to make that a part of your life and accept it, no questions asked!
JUST SHOW UP – no excuses, don’t stop – there is no chance of you stopping
- Get an idea of what you want
- Formulate a plan of how often you need to show up to get there
- Accept that your new activity is a part of your life for the duration of the time you’ve decided and never decide based on emotions if you’re going to show up or not. Just show up.
- Don’t worry if you’re getting results, just stick to the plan with blind faith and make your criteria for success just to show up – because you don’t have other option
- Make it a hobby, look at the details critically without taking advice dogmatically and take the initiative to shift the focus of your training when your intuition tells you that it might help.
Separate the going out time and studying at home time. Don’t think about this, don’t correct each other, talk about how you will pick up girls, don’t get analytical! Get the good vibe going
When you’re in the right state you act like a person you want to be.
The things that might get you to the right state might be a new haircut, clothes, warm ups (first 3 approaches don’t count)…
Identity is a concept in your mind that relates you to and separates you from the social environment.
You have a sense of what you’re entitled to, of what you deserve to have, what you’re capable and what you’re not capable of. Most guys will never be wealthy and will never have a women that they want.
Acceptance doesn’t mean being liked, it means that no one will bother you. If you’re quiet and shy you will not get picked on very badly, but if you stand out you will get all sorts of things that will come up.
People don’t like to accept that. It’s better to live in a society where you have no money and no girls than in the wild where you have nothing, and a sense of what you deserve to have will affect that.
State is an emotion like any other, it’s within you at all times. In society is not discussed.
Superficial social standards – money, looks, having a nice car – knowing that you have it you have more confidence and get more women, but knowing that you don’t have it pushes you further away.
Alliances – a guaranteed acceptance of who you have around – big group of friends, having a girlfriend
Competencies – access to exclusive parties, guitarist at a bar, access to what people want, you are more in your state when you have something that people want.
If you define yourself as a guy who is not successful with women you will always seek for lines and routines to get women so you can be someone else and become permitted to be with women.
You’re not enough and you need to do something more. If Tyler gives you a story to tell then you have something more, a story that works, same thing goes with guitar… You feel good when people will like you and get in the state. But do it without this things.
Role plays – wing man- if he is better than you, it will shut your game down. You will become a fan of what he’s doing, become reactive to him and try to copy what he’s doing. If you’re teaching someone this and you’re in charge the story is different.
Knowing you deserve it because it’s just who you are. That is the core confidence that doesn’t matter how you look, meeting other people standard’s, just your own, it doesn’t depend on who’s in the venue with you, if you have cool stories, it doesn’t depend if you have somebody else with you that looks up on you, it’s just who you are. All that that guy needs to learn is stuff like plowing…
A guy that has a situational confidence – needs to look a certain way, needs friends, needs a routine… it will take him a lot longer to learn. He needs to learn how to view the whole world and himself.
But why should you have core confidence, what is a legitimate reason for me to deserve all these things, if there’s another guy next to me that has all the same things than me?
You have internal and external validation. People who are externally validated are always in the mercy of other people. Are responses of other people dictating your state? Do they dictate how you feel about yourself?
Most guys look for other people to determine their reality. If the response is not good the process it as reality – “I suck.” And the state follows the reality.
On the other hand some people determine their reality based on internal validation. They don’t think about what others think of them.
A downside to that might be that the guy that achieves that might think that he solved the game, he has a feeling of superiority and doesn’t want to grow anymore. As a result he’s not motivated to do anything.
Those people might read a lot of books and know a lot of this, but their life doesn’t align with that – they don’t have that girl, that job…
An example might be a pick up artist who knows everything, but he hasn’t done it to get girls, those guys are angry. They have a million reason why that is stupid, but they’re dealing with their issues.
So why should you have core confidence? If you live your life in a way that you don’t want you shouldn’t have it. If you live your life because of reactions you shouldn’t have it.
People always do social pinging. Looking for clues on what should you be like.
50 years ago if you were tanned and skinny you were poor, you were working on the fields, but now you’re healthy and sexy. Your frame must be strong enough (windows with which you look at reality.)
That’s why it’s good not to react to a test, your frame is stronger you don’t react as much as she and it drives her into your frame. Just like teenagers dress like they are gangsters, it becomes cool.
Advertisements say: “You’re not good enough, you need to buy this and look like these models.”
You try to look like, but you never will, don’t try to live up to those standards (television)… set your own standards.
If Tyler get’s an interview on television he doesn’t want their approval, because he can’t win that way… he can have all these perfect answers that he thinks they will like, but they already have a judgment about him.
If Tyler doesn’t care about their approval and talks about what he’s passionate about and ignores their weird questions they will be drawn into that.
When Tyler had a speech, a guy before him had an amazing one. Tyler thought that his speech was even better than Tyler’s but that guy didn’t think the same so he started to qualify himself to him and that’s what happens if you think that somebody is cooler than you. You lose confidence and start playing the game by their rules. Don’t get caught up to what others are doing.
Most men while they are going to approach a woman think am I good enough, how does this shirt look like…instead focus on identity, I am entitled to this because of my identity – my passion, good experience with others, so I should not care about what this person thinks.
Don’t be generic, you have to stand out. Some guys learn the game, they learn to be funny, confident, but they don’t really believe that they are – they’re not align with it.
Cool – you can bend social norms, you’re not submissive to them. Realize how money you are.
Just truly let go of what people think of you and see where you’re caring – catch yourself and cut if off!
Caring what other people think is just insecurity – it comes from a position of scarcity and insecurity, otherwise you wouldn’t care, it’s a thread to you. But this way you can’t win.
Value giving – it’s not buying drinks (you do that so others are in debt to you or to get a certain reaction to pump your state – attraction lost) it’s not given by doing favors but with their presence and their individuality.
You have this story, blind spots, rationalization of who you are, of your identity and you need to let it go. Screw your opinions, beliefs, the way you act…everything. Let it all go. You know who you want to be, become that person, leave everything else behind (fight club)
Or society has a big fear of death because people fear like they haven’t lived their lives. They lived their life the way that other people dictated them to live.
Girls calling you a player is a good thing at first, but later you get past that.
Having experience with a lot of girls is good, but still trying to get laid everywhere while she sees that (talking to all the girls) is not that good – you’re trying to get approval.
If you keep it natural you always have the same energy – no more flaking
But you don’t get IOI so fast and with such a blast.
The shorter the interaction less threatening the phone number is.
Act like a movie star – when people watch you, nothing changes…it’s normal to you.
On the bus be cool when people look at you when you walk in, smile with great body language, make comments…it’s cool.
If you hit on her in public you’re putting a pressure on her.
Managing multiple relationships
You can tell her you’re seeing other people – the chance is that she will hook up with 5 guys, think she’s a slut and start dating one of those guys
Some girls can’t handle it – they are heartbroken, but they like you more, it’s still very bad.
If you don’t know her and didn’t have a real conversation with her she sees you as a fantasy, you can do it easily, but when you get to know her it gets harder.
Apologize from the place of power. Don’t promise if you won’t do it, be honest and make sure that both of you are growing and evolving. Get a sense of what quality she’s attracted to, don’t try to keep her. Instead think about if it matches your needs (is she passive or does she like to chase you…) and then decide if you want to be with her. In a relationship you should do what you naturally do, if you change to keep her long term that sucks!
If you don’t like her personality it doesn’t matter how she looks like, that’s important in relationship.
Be on your path of purpose, but the purpose can not be your woman.
A woman would rather have 1 hour of full presence on your part then 10 hours of you being distracted.
Offering value is about dictating vibe around you. Make everything better.
Not giving away power means that you let her know that you can have the same amount of fun if she wasn’t there.
Value taker will try to jump in the space of value (sex). Talk to her and stay unaffected by the fact that she can give you mind blowing sex.
Talk to celebrities as they are a human being, not a source of value.
When you do her a favor you are investing in her which means you’re moving forward and she pulls back.
Blind spots can hold you back, you may created them as a reaction to something: saying I don’t want to get laid with girls like that because I have standards, but secretly want to have sex with those girls.
A creation to make ourselves feel good.
From a newbie perspective it’s the best to just assume it’s always on instead of calibration.
The second thing that’s good is to calibrate, but never become emotionally attached. Even when the girl’s not into you your state stays up.
How bad do you want it? Stick to it.
Positivity challenge – cut off negative thoughts in under a minute, see everything positive that a person has to offer to you, cut it off when you want to impress or seek reaction.
Julien RSD- Pimp
This is it- take it and apply it, no more external stimulus.
It transfers in all areas of my life- I can talk to women, family, friends…
People are victims of circumstance– a lot of that shapes who they are.
What one man can do, another man can do– there are no excuses. You want it, go take it. How bad do I want it?
It’s just something that I do- stepping from victim to abundance mentality.
First hand and second hand experience. A lot of secondhand experience is good (society), but trying to become an alpha guy is terrible, society wants you to fit in.
Beliefs: working hard for money, and when she sees that she will reward me, love is scarce and you have one soul mate- don’t fuck it up, don’t upset her- leads to boredom, step in and save her from a player like a knight, telling her you like her and buying her things- no one wants to go below their level, if you think this is a big deal, she will think you’re not higher status than her. Women love sex!
I will get “aha” moments on first hand experiences.
Cold approach pick up will get the most reward on my investment– learning how to talk to strangers, getting good emotions, being better in my social circle, getting the job done, naturally becoming attractive, self- help, meditation…
I can grow and expand.
What is attraction? What turns her on?
People think that the first step is meeting society’s standards- money and looks.
Attracting is anything that improves a chance of survival and reproduction- we’re simple.
Genes have higher chance of surviving with a hot woman.
Another part that triggers attraction is good emotions. When you feel good you associate it with value, which is sometimes wrong- Big Mac gives us good emotions, but it’s not good for survival and reproduction.
It’s about behavior cues, not visual cues (caveman)- dominance, loudness, leadership, resourcefulness… that’s why women need more time to decide if they want to sleep with a guy- they need to watch for behavior cues to see who’s an alpha guy and who’s sex worthy, while guys pay attention to looks. Guys are like light switch- on, off, while women are like volume nod.
That’s why money and looks are not an excuse; because we came from cavemen times- pretty boys didn’t know how to survive. Really attractive girls get money whenever they want- they have orbiters
Another reason why women will sleep with a guy is validation- if they think that sleeping with you will boost their self- image and raise them on the social ladder, they will do it.
Being a sex-worthy guy is not something that I do, but it’s something that I am.
Men are logical, women are emotional- men can’t convince women to sleep with them.
Women need to connect with kids, while men go hunting and are task oriented.
Even if it makes sense logically, she will not do it. What she says she wants, is rarely what she responds to.
She says she wants a nice guy that respects her that gives, and takes her to dinner, and you think “I’m a nice guy I could do that, why shouldn’t we be together?” But then she goes for the biggest asshole.
When she says that she means it, but people will do what emotions tells them to do.
Women live in the emotion of the moment and they backwards rationalize.
It’s like someone convincing you that salad is good for you and you will live longer, but when Big Mac is there, emotions are there.
She says that she would never go to the asshole, but it’s just a form of rationalization- between who they think they are and their biological drive.
That’s why is bad to ask women for advice- it’s like learning how to box by a guy that got punched by Mike Tyson just once.
Fuck her as soon as possible. When she fucks you she biologically risks having a kid with you, you are an alpha guy, and that kid will be an alpha guy.
Transitioning from sex to girlfriend is easy- society says that she’s a slut if she fucked you and she didn’t loved you, so there is something about you.
Focus on changing her mood, not her mind- mind follows the emotions.
Focus on a deeper layer- behavior cues, not logic.
Saying “we should go fuck in the bathroom” will never get you there, but starting to kiss her and fingering her will.
- Use breaking rapport tonality and be physical.
- Adding to the fun, challenging (emotional spike), commanding!
This applies to all women- “Jenny would never do that!”
She can be smart, mean, classy, stupid… it doesn’t matter.
Women love sex more than men, but they have more sex control- they get offered every day.
If she fucked one guy- it’s not a big deal, look at the big picture.
Don’t be paranoid or judgmental.
The source of insecurity is because she had more experience, and more options. If she loves you, she doesn’t see other guys around her, and she will also reach sexual peak much sooner, men will be attractive a lot longer.
Not all women are sluts, just because they had sex. In reality 5% of girls had less than 5 sexual partners- those girls are usually weird or religious, 90% of girls had around 15 sexual partners, the rest had over a hundred and are sluts.
Women have two personalities– one is for guys that are attractive, the other one for unattractive guys (lover and provider.)
Women will also be what you expect them to be. If you say “let loose, I won’t judge”, she will sleep with you sooner, if you will judge and buy her dinner she will hold sex.
If a guy sleeps with a lot of women he is considered awesome and other women will want him more.
If a woman does the same thing, she drops on the social ladder.
Because of this double standard they have to pretend they don’t love sex. If they’re not that sexually open with you, you didn’t make them feel comfortable in that way
“My boss Michael” analogy
I want sex, but if I do it I’ll lose it all. But then another girl comes and says “Michael can’t see us, let’s do it.” Make her feel comfortable to do what she wants to do.
Take all of accountability off her shoulders.
Every girl that I see, think “This girl is thinking about getting fucked all the time.”
Inner Game- The Four Pillars of Sex- Worthiness
In every interaction there’s a guy that stands out, while others hope they won’t get disliked.
Women will feel different emotions based on who says it.
Purposeful, controlled, flowing and self- amused = sex worthy
If something is off, you may have too much of one, or not enough of the other.
Thoughts, words and actions must be aligned- you want to hug her, than hug her! You can tell how good someone is by how alive he looks- being active, awake!
You have to be congruent– you can’t be low energy and pretending you’re alive.
Internal state of energy and external actions must be aligned.
Put personality on the line- let the girl know you like her. Other guys want to sneak in and then become a little faggot orbiters for her.
She has to know that I want to fuck her!
As a kid, others make fun of you, when you tell that you like a girl.
They don’t want to admit that they like her until they’re sure that she likes them.
Be a man to a woman from the start.
- Have a laser eye contact, let her know.
- Use breaking rapport, not a pitching voice tone.
- Also be physical. Everything can be direct if you say it right- the words don’t matter.
Most people are “fake” when they’re out.
The Millionaire in the club analogy
When women are in the club, they are like millionaires, and guys are peasants that want a little bit of the money. Everything they do, even if they try to be cool they look needy- people pleasers.
By being real you have value- you become a millionaire. You can relax and have genuine conversations.
Take an identity that you’re a guy with good intensions that likes sex– women will go along with it.
People will go along with the person who’s the most certain.
If you don’t believe in yourself, why would a girl believe in you?
It’s impossible to please everybody. I don’t like everybody, and not everybody likes me.
Control your own actions, not reactions and I’m not an orbiter.
Even if I say to a thousand girls with good intensions that I like color blue, some will hate me for it.
You can’t be a friend to a friend (I don’t like sex) and a man to a woman (I like sex).
Being mean is pretending to be a friend- let her know.
Women want to meet a sex- worthy guy, and I’m giving them an opportunity to meet him.
Men try not to be impolite. Even if she’s in the middle of a conversation, you can interrupt. If my dream girl would interrupt me in the best conversation ever, I wouldn’t mind.
Don’t hide it, don’t half- ass it, don’t be half gangster.
People are afraid that their personality will not be accepted.
Being promotion oriented, instead of being prevention oriented.
Thinking positive things when saying hi to a girl- thinking that I could kiss her, fuck her… instead of thinking that I don’t want to get rejected, standing out, am I being purposeful, confident?
This is who I am, this is my opinion of me that I value the most, this is what I represent and I don’t need anything from her. Who cares if shit goes wrong, I did everything in my control- its self- amusing.
Focus on being congruent and lean a little over the edge- expanding comfort zone.
In any social interaction there is a person that is acting more than the other person, and that person is reacting to them.
Who is at the cause, and who is at the effect? If a person does something you feel emotional response, trying to think one step ahead, changing the way you’re talking, qualifying yourself to her, and reacting to her…
When you’re not doing that, you’re more grounded and in control.
Assume it will work, I’m the boss and she’s the employee.
As a guy nothing is a big deal.
Everything is a part of the plan.
You can’t try to be reactive; you can’t try to be unreactive.
Being a guy that is being chosen by every girl there, but I’m choosing the girl that I like- I’m a buyer.
Realize your own value– it’s easy to feel like a piece of shit.
The ultimate cue of sex-worthy guy is self- development, working on yourself.
I’m a 10- strong reality. I’m on the top 1% and nothing is more attractive than a guy that’s working on himself, they want a guy that’s potent and on his prime.
Don’t put women on a pedestal- they are human, they shit as well.
Most women are misguided and undecided.
Picture her on a Christmas morning- family makes fun of her, she’s goofy…
When she’s out, she’s not real.
Ultimately the best way to do this is to step out of scarcity and step into abundance.
There is no such thing as “oneidess.” There is infinite amount of women.
What you can experience with one girl, you can experience with another.
This will happen when you feel entitled- like talking to a fat girl. When you’re entitled you have positive assumptions.
It’s like talking to a girl that loves you, and doesn’t like anyone else. You know no one can take her away from you, and you’re relaxed instead of being choppy.
They don’t care if thousands of guys said the same thing; she wants to know what I have to say if I’m that guy.
Lower criteria to become entitled– don’t have a whole list that I need to be rich and perfect looking, going through thousands of seminars before I feel entitled.
The beauty of entitlement is that I don’t need anything to back it up. Act like a rock star, you get treated like a rock star.
My actions will change who I am, not girls reactions. Rush when she smiles will not make permanent change.
I give myself permission to be entitled. I’m in top 1%, I’m enough. I accept who I am.
Stop trying to live up to other people’s standards.
Everything I have is cool. If I have short hair, people that have long hair are faggots. If I don’t know what to say, guys that know what to say are faggots.
I set the standards.
Let go of the outcome
It’s the key to getting away with putting personality on the line.
Good reaction I feel good, trying to kiss her and get a negative reaction feel good.
How do I make someone laugh? By making myself laugh first. Making things interesting by being interested first
Others want to join the party (leach); I have to be the party- have your own fun first.
External stimulus is temporary and becomes boring
People who have it all are depressed and have all sorts of problems, because there is no internal fulfillment. You have to develop.
If you know how to pump up your own good emotions, you can control the bad nights. You become consistent.
If you love yourself and a woman feels the same thing for you she loves you.
Be so focused on yourself that you don’t even notice girl’s reaction. There is no outcome, that’s secondary.
If you don’t want the fun, more for me When you make yourself feel good, she needs more from me (investing, reacting), than I need from her.
If I’m doing it to add to the fun, no one will try to stop me.
Don’t force it.
- The awkward laugh exercise- interview questions+ weird laugh (you don’t even need her to have fun)
- The awkward dance
Everyone wants to be around the person that has the most fun and doesn’t care at all.
Be like a kid when you’re out.
If you don’t know what to say: Embrace it, exaggerate and laugh
“I don’t know what to say, my parents never loved me, and I never knew what to say.”
Learn to laugh at yourself
Stop taking it personally and taking it like a little victim.
Tempo of The Night
It’s not normal for a regular guy to make a transition from logical to social.
At 10 pm people are stiffer than at 3 am when everyone is dancing. Most guys loosen up with alcohol; girls go through a process- getting a drink, dancing, rejecting guys, giving numbers, gather orbiters and then at the end of the night, fuck someone or go home.
Girl knows she can have sex; she wants to experience emotions through the night. Sex will happen at the end, relax…
Download bar– it’s down at the beginning of the night, and then it goes up.
3 parts of the night:
- 10 pm to 2:30- download bar is low, it’s rear that you will fuck a girl
- From 2:30 to closing- rises
- From closing till the morning- highest
At the first night focus on yourself. She wants the validation, dance, drink, so you should use this time to get in the four pillars zone.
It’s switching from preventing to promotion based mindset- being scared and freaking out (not enjoying the moment) to enjoying yourself and letting personality come out.
You should feel like at home as soon as possible. Expect positive reactions.
- There’s nothing to win, nothing to lose. Take all of the pressure off.
In the first part of the night if fucking is success, than everything is rejection. Don’t try to fast forward, relax and take your time. Girls want to have fun; they don’t want the leach at the beginning of the night.
The whole night is one big interaction- you don’t know how well you’re doing till the end of the night.
Self- amuse out of the boredom for 4 hours- keep yourself engaged by talking to everyone.
“Sacrificing the lamb”- the first girl will be sacrificed; she will either love me or run away.
- The more I do, the less the environment does to me. You’re either at the cause or at the effect.
The more you wait, the more you get stuck in your head. Always take action. Minimize time between sets. You can just talk to the wall, just do something… don’t take the break or the environment will say: women are at the peak, superficial stuff matter the most; everyone is here to dis you.
“Jack off theory” – go all the way through, don’t pause
- The more action you take, the more you get the proof that nothing will happen.
You get the feeling that since you walked in the last, everyone here knows each other, if I get rejected everyone will know which is an ILUSION!
Every reference experience is a good reference experience. Any reference that I’m still alive after is good.
Say “hey, how’s it going” louder and louder and you’re still alive- awesome!
We’re creatures of habits, you’re going to want to feel, how you’re feeling- you don’t want to feel sex- worthy.
If you’re in your head, you don’t want to feel social- it’s easier to feel anxiety all the time. You know what you’re supposed to be doing.
You change that by acting, and acting only!
Who do you want to become? You want to be a man of his prime, or slowly stagnate and die inside- like parents.
Default of most people is giving up and not trying to build will power, so they just stay unhappy and watch movies while eating cake to forget about their problems- no passion.
They live without killing themselves because of external stimulus- TV series, Big Mac…
Not taking action is taking action– but not the good one.
Value who you want to become above any form of instant gratification
Easy way out: Big Mac- No! I am better than this
Easy way out: wanting women, approach anxiety- No! I am better than this; I want to become this person.
Gun to the head- what’s the right thing to do?
It’s never as bad as you thought it was.
No time to celebrate, what’s next? How can I amp up my own party?
You either move up, or by default move down.
Don’t force it, let it arise.
If you don’t like being loud, physical… don’t pretend you are. The more you repeat it, you will become like that.
How Can I make Myself Laugh?
The best way to loosen up is to Laugh.
Embrace, exaggerate, laugh
“I don’t know what to say, I’m very simple.”
How can I make this awkward?
“I shower 10 times a day, I’m so insecure, my girlfriend’s fat and I don’t want to go back.”
Ruin self- image of James Bond.
Talk to everyone all the time to get into the four pillars- environment becomes irrelevant.
The difference is, you only fuck the hot once, but commit to everyone like she’s a 10.
I don’t focus on the results, I focus on the process. Even if all hot girls are gone, go for other girls, while other guys would go home because of that. That’s how you become good. Use serious game on other girls as well. Get her naked on her bed with legs on open and then flake on her.
Build a massive reservoir of fun and abundance.
Even if you get her in the first part of the night say “not yet!” Have more fun first!
Don’t even think about fucking a girl.
Start getting every phone number of every girl.
The second part of the night you have to commit to a girl– gun to the head: If you don’t fuck this girl, your family dies. Be persistent, and stay until you’re being isolated with her.
Pull lasts from 45 minutes up to an hour and a half.
If you don’t get that girl you have to know that there are infinite amount of women and time. Commit again, everything comes in waves.
At part 3 is free for all- who is the last dick standing?
She is ready and download bar is high.
It doesn’t matter who pumped her bar up, that energy transfers on the other guy. You can use that at the end of the night.
You maximize your time and energy investment.
Organize phone numbers A.
Never trust a girl that says she will find you and meet you later. Follow her to the bathroom if that’s the girl that you committed to.
She means it when she said she will come back, but then her friends come along and she will not act like a slut and come back to you by leaving her friends.
It’s never going to happen if you’re negative.
If she’s having fun, she wants the cool guy.
If you’re not laughing you’re fucked. It doesn’t matter what you’re saying or doing, it’s the emotions that matter.
You know how good a guy is by the amount of fun he’s having when he’s out.
Shock yourself in the state.
Outer game- open
Cold approach- warm approach
You can appear without any signal.
Opener does not matter.
Lower your time of reaction– you see the girl and you jump in before the excuses pop up in your head (not being stuck in your head.)
We always assume the worst. Your mind fucks with you.
If you don’t know what to say use an opener that you memorized before: “Hey, I’m Julien.”
Guys move too slow– they need 2 hours to approach a girl, and by that time she’s repelled.
Walk with purpose- straight line.
Everyone is unique with their emotions. The nicest girl might be the bitch, and the meanest looking girl might act nice. It’s impossible to predict, just jump in and find out for yourself.
What is opening? Learning what happens after the fact.
Set frames from the start:
Be man to a woman not friend to a friend. I’m not talking to you to ask you for directions, I’m talking to you to fuck you. Don’t hold back, “people will not make fun of me if she knows that”- but in a vibe, not verbalizing.
- Laser Eye Contact- she knows (if I’m in my head, not present, nervous…)
- Breaking rapport Tonality- trying too hard makes your voice go up.
- Being physical- if you’re a friend you won’t be grabbing her
Set it from the second you say hi- she has to know.
If I and this girl would be isolated in a room with a bed could I throw her on the bed and fuck her or would she say “What the fuck are you doing?”
Don’t be a friend for 20 minutes and then say “I also have a dick.”
She will love you if you like sex; she will love you if you want to be her friend, but don’t be both.
Girl will always go with the frame you set. If you go there and act like you know her for a 100 years and she’s your girlfriend she’ll fall into that. If you act like “she doesn’t like me” she won’t like you.
Let it seem like you know everybody.
She wants to know who the fuck are you. Let’s see what you’re all about, what’s this guy’s reality like.
Don’t just logically tell her what you’re all about- it will not work, she doesn’t want your resume.
Set the rhythm and be the cause.
Before the interaction everyone has its own rhythm, but then someone adapts other person’s rhythm.
If you adapt her rhythm she will feel the same thing as if any other guy would be there.
Calibrate after the fact. There are always elements of randomness.
You’re not trying to accomplish anything- I have to do this in order to…
Why should I be physical? Because I want to, it’s an expression.
The Longer you want, the more awkward it’s going to be. An easy way out of that if you haven’t been physical is hugging the girl- Are you from LA? Awesome, hug
Make it a habit- shake every girl’s hand (90 degree angle, so she reaches as well- investment)
Verbal game and physical game are combined– you touch while you talk, but don’t talk about being physical.
You’re not being rejected, if she doesn’t want to shake your hand. You can fuck her without hand shake.
You don’t have to accomplish anything that you set out to do, even kissing.
If you go for the kiss, don’t become the make out guy. You’re not moving on, you’re stuck and you’re giving her all the validation she needs.
Never feel like you have to justify your actions– “There’s something on your shoulder”
I’m touching you because I’m a guy, you’re a girl and that’s what’s up. You don’t need a buildup in order to be physical- you can kiss her right away- emotion of the moment and backwards rationalizing.
I want the kiss, but I don’t need it- I’m not outcome oriented.
The Physical Moves- do them while talking
The best form of physicality is do whatever you feel like doing.
- Spin handshake
- The hand clasp
- The spin hug
- The waltz dance- slow dancing
- The neck bite
- Eyes close kiss- she closes her eyes, you kiss her
Do it back and forth, let her breath and you don’t need to escalate.
You will get a lot more if your eye contact is solid.
The hook point
When there’s a change in a girl’s mind- I’m in a real interaction.
It’s when the girl wants you to stay more than she wants you to leave.
The social hook point- you offer value (fun), she isn’t being turned on, but she is willing to acknowledge you- she doesn’t want your number.
The sexual hook point- when she wants to emotionally investing- you can see it in her eyes (anime eyes), and her voice will go up.
The “Megan Fox” tonality
I’m sex- worthy and she is a complete retard and doesn’t know.
You give her a sample of your personality by introducing yourself.
Then you give her a bigger sample by plowing- keep talking.
Assume that given enough samples she will be attracted to me.
I’m not trying to get approval by that, and thinking that she will leave if I stop talking.
Teach her something of interest; do not just agree with her by default…
You make something interesting by being interested in it.
90-10 rule– until you reach the hook point, do the 90% of talking, don’t ask anything, but yes and no questions
Some girls will challenge me back- shit tests, to see if I’m really as cool as I presented myself.
Expect it, assume it and be happy about it. It means that I presented myself in a sex- worthy way. They will not challenge the nerd.
They are creating an opportunity to demonstrate my sex- worthiness. It’s a massive turn on when I pass the test.
The best way to pass her tests is to be emotionally unreactive (no emotionally flinching.)
“No I’m sorry, that’s not my pick up line.” Don’t be more uncomfortable than she is.
It doesn’t matter what you say as long as you stay icy.
Nothing that she says will change who I am- “You’re not cool!”
Find the same level, so that she’s able to relate to you- not everything is a test.
You can logically tell while remaining cool, or not even answer it. You can also embrace it, make it your own and challenge her back- “You’re too old.” – “I’m so old, I could be your grandfather, say Daddy I’m 12.” Or “You’re too young. I love little girls.”
Call her up on her trying to step up or trying to hard- with laser eye contact.
The less of a deal you make with the test, the better and it’s not always me versus her- not everything is a test.
It’s easier in theory; in real life hot girls have other people around them.
Always open the girl that you want, no matter what she does or who she’s there with.
The two set- you’re going to have to talk to both of them. Flirting for the sake of flirting with the other girl, flirting for the sake of fucking with the girl that I want
If it’s two girls and two guys, it’s perfect! If the other girl is having fun, it’s much easier.
The group- now you don’t have to talk to everyone as much, they can talk to each other.
Remember that you must make them trust you (bare minimum), so you can isolate her at some point.
The mixed set
Two set- a guy can be protective, get the girl to notice you first- she stares at me and you give her your hand. If she reaches for your hand, the guy has to go through both of you, if she just looks at you see where they’re at. Maybe he doesn’t know her so you can ignore him, maybe they’re together.
Ask the girl how the group knows each other- guys might lie, a girl might lie as well if she’s not turned away from the guy.
If she says it’s her boyfriend you could say you’re her gay friend, but generally find another one.
If she says he’s her friend you can’t ignore him and she cares more about him than you for now and she won’t go to you no matter how much she likes you. Make him see you’re cool, then go back to her. It may be better to get a number.
If she says she doesn’t know him well, you can ignore him.
The girl will go with the guy that she reacts to, adapts his rhythm.
Hope that the guy will not get back her attention, but if he does don’t talk to him. Talk to the girl in a commanding way.
Don’t chase her- look at me, look at me, but instead command her- Hey, look at me!
If there are guys in a group, you might want to say hi because they might think they’re the bosses and get jealous of you talking to their girls. Say you know her for a long time.
They can talk to the others; you don’t have to win them over.
The Dance Floor- matching or a little more intensity (doesn’t mean energy)
Once you’ve hooked her, drag her somewhere else, but the dance floor.
The Seated Set
If you’re not seated you’re less comfortable and you’re trying too hard. You have to either sit down or make her stand up.
If she doesn’t stand up, keep talking and reaching the hook point. No means not yet.
The Walking Set
You can stop her, or you can walk with her and stop later on.
Try to stop her, but as soon as you see she will not stop, walk with her.
Whatever happens is part of the plan- don’t be sad if she didn’t stop.
There’s a shift- from me doing and doing it transfers to a real interaction 50:50
Slow things down, I’m self- amusing and make her chase me.
Too much of something is always bad. If you keep doing it will shift from being sex worthy to being insecure and reacting- he’s trying to impress me, he’s not the prize.
You have to go against emotional urges– why should I stop if it works?
The “Drug Dealer” analogy
Give her a few hits of heroine until she’s hooked and then give her a hit every once in a while.
Vibing is not about having a logical conversation; the only purpose is having a good time together.
You assume it will happen and make her invest more. Keep doing whatever you’re doing, she has anime eyes and she’s getting attracted. She just needs time; keep her in the same state.
“What better place to be?” Enjoy the moment, don’t rush it. How many people really want to hear what you have to say and are emotionally investing?
When she’s past the sexual hook point she’s absorbing everything- I’m influencing someone, sex is just a bonus and it will happen no matter what.
Step out of that Agenda based mindset.
Create Togetherness– building comfort
It’s not about you telling her about yourself logically or the other way around, girls are focused about the deeper layer.
Reinforce that you and a girl are one against the world. It’s not about the verbal exchange.
Isolate the girl; you can just turn her around so she doesn’t see them.
Move her through as many places as possible- you and her are the only thing constant. You can lie verbally to spike emotions- “I’m also from Canada, do you like me? Good, cause I’m not from Canada.”
What I said was bullshit, but we went through that story together.
Forget about the resume exchange, she may not even know my name, but she feels emotional togetherness.
- Conspiracy theory- you and her against the world- only we know something, inside joke…
- Role playing- “Be my girlfriend for the next 5 minutes.” We’re in this together.
- Future projection- “We’re going to do this together!” Picturing together in the future.
- What would you do this, would you ever?
Bringing sexual topics, without being responsible
When vibing, also qualify her!
Use value + qualification
Till this point you give value, but now show her why she’s so special.
If you don’t do it she will assume you like her just because of her looks and you can fuck any hot girl here, or you’re not that cool!
Doing this will reduce last minute resistance or flaking. You can qualify her with “Emotionally Unexplained.”
“I like you, it’s weird and I don’t know why.”
You can bring it back: “This is special, must be that color blue.”
Future Projection- “We should have coffee sometimes.” Now I’m a real person.
Have a normal conversation, in a club you’re an emotion or a good song, not a real person.
“I like you so much and I feel like you’re special and I can tell you anything.” Then tell a secret.
Make her feel like she’s winning you over– you’re not given to her, she has to put in the work.
The more value she gives, the more personality you convey…
You have to do anime eyes as well- “I wanted to leave, but there’s something special about you.”
Too much of something is bad! Here’s another secret, and another! I really like you…
Value is lover, qualification is provider. Focus on value first (I’m the shit, I’m awesome), the more she invests, the more you reward by sprinkling in some qualification.
She wants the alpha guy that transfers into a provider for her– that’s the impression you want to give.
You can take it in any direction after sex- fuck buddy, girlfriend…
During the vibing reinforce that she’s the one chasing me.
Determine Her Logistics
Being sex worthy is not enough- you have to make it happen, direct it and lead, so that she will not feel like a slut.
Ask in every interaction:
- Who are you here with?
- How do you know each other?
- What area do you live in?
- Do you have roommates?
- Are your roommates here?
- How did you get here?
- How are you getting home?
- What are you doing tomorrow?
Don’t just interrogate her! Sprinkle them in with some fun.
Don’t always be direct: “You look like you would live in a small apartment.”
Bate her: say after party.
- Where am I staying in relation to meeting this girl?
- How am I getting back?
- What are some places that I can bounce her to on my way to this place?
- Where is her download bar at?
- “Hey, I’m…”
- “Are you from…?”
- “What’s your name?”
- “What do you do?”
- “Who are you here with?”
These 5 questions are now on auto pilot!
The content is boring, but you can sub communicate something much deeper.
This is the foundation of the conversation. By doing this you’re setting the rhythm.
- Add to the fun
First add to the fun (first lines), than be more challenging and commanding.
You can ask her about herself or what she thinks you would like- “Do you think I would like to help people?”
In between these questions improvise to amuse yourself and when you run of things to say ask another question.
Do 80% pull and 20% push.
What you should be aiming for in every single interaction is sex- biggest form of investment.
The “killer instinct”- it’s up to me to make it happen, I’m a wolf, and I will go as far as it’s possible!
How far would you push it if someone puts a gun to your head?
Gun to the head, fuck her!
Plan A is pull her, plan B is go with her, plan C is get her number.
Always aim for plan A. If you can’t pull her, go with her.
Plan A- Pull Her
A big part of pulling is making her comfortable to do what she wants to do– take her somewhere where Michael can’t see her. As long as you’re sex worthy and her buying temperature is there you’re good, you just give her logical excuses to do what she emotionally wants to do.
Step one: Leading
Don’t wait for her permission. The girl is either going to say nothing or say no, but never expect her to say yes.
It’s easier to ask for forgiveness, than for permission. Stop only if you get a serious no.
Step two: Give her little bits and pieces that she can take and rationalize why it’s ok to go home with you.
A classic suggestion is “Come to this after party, it’s in my apartment.”
After party and adventure
I thought you were adventurous; I really liked that about you. Let’s be adventurous, let’s be crazy.
She will usually give you objections. A girl has to say them, if she just says yes; she will still put some resistance, so she won’t feel like a slut.
It’s your job to find a solution.
“I’m stuck here with my friends.” – Tell your friends we’ll be right back or that you’re too drunk and tired and you went home.
I can’t get back in- Trust me, you can get back in.
Where is the after party? – It’s just around the corner.
Say whatever it takes to find a solution to her objectives.
Ask yourself: “Am I sex worthy?” and “What’s the worst that could happen?”
As long as nothing terrible happens to her, go for it!
Add some humor to it, so you don’t just pressure her.
“Fine, go back to your boring life then.” – Be sad about it.
Wash- rinse- repeat the whole process
“I don’t know anybody else, I was hoping to talk to you since we get along so good, just walk me there. Your friends won’t even know you were gone, it’s just for five minutes, you’ll get back in. It will be fun!
Be persistent, if you don’t fuck her, your family dies.
Make it more realistic (Las Vegas.) It’s around the corner… Now this could happen. When you repeat, she thinks, fuck it let’s do it!
“I have nothing to lose”- You can fuck me or not, the outcome will not change, no one will judge you. She loves sex, so she will do it.
Baby step the pull- how much compliance is she giving to me?
“Come all the way to my apartment”- Just go outside…
If she hasn’t invested enough, it doesn’t matter how sex worthy you are.
How can I make her one step closer?
Every step she takes is more investment- once she invested a lot, she doesn’t want to get back to zero.
Take responsibility off of her and find solutions to her objections.
Fuck that, let’s do this instead– because she’s already on the way, she will go to your apartment
“Oh no, my friend texted me, after party is over, let’s go back to my apartment instead.”
Don’t take any breaks; be willing to go all the way!
Plan B- Go with Her
If logistics say no, don’t freak her out with being persistent.
Go wherever she goes, I still have nothing to lose.
Stay in set as long as you’re not isolated with her (in her apartment), and you can make it happen.
How can I get in the car with her? – Find where she lives first
Say you’re going to a friend or a party in that area.
In the car plant a seed– “Do you have alcohol at your place, I have to use the bathroom…”
Can I see the view, I’m looking for an apartment in this area, stay in it until you’re alone.
Embrace the fact that you will just stay there, even if you feel creepy.
Be the last dick standing, once you’re alone with her a shift will happen and she will be more compliant.
Don’t make her self- conscious about what you’re saying- Sooo, where are we going?
Just be self- amused, light hearted chit chat. Don’t use too many details- Where are you going? I’m going to a friend who lives around here, anyhow…
Last Minute Resistance
The biggest mistake guys make when they get her to sex location is stop. Then buying temperature and momentum drops.
Always keep moving forward- don’t let her become tired.
Engage her physically.
- It doesn’t count as sex- whatever you do, it’s not sex… fingering is not sex
- It makes It sexier- being overwhelmed by emotions
Change her mood, not her mind- her mind will follow the emotions
Be discrete when putting on a condom. You don’t need her completely naked.
Now it’s not time to fuck around, be sure and without hesitation, stop if she seriously says no!
Get Her Number
A phone number is not a little stepping stone to sex. “She’s not that type of girl, she’s classier.”
Always aim for sex, phone number is just a backup of a backup.
If you aim for A or B don’t get her number before, she will not be as motivated. If she doesn’t have it she risks not seeing you again.
A number is not a nugget of validation; it’s just a split to the day 2.
I will get for part C in the first part of the night; she wants emotional build up instead of fucking you.
Build a massive reservoir of numbers, if something happens to a girl that you committed to, you can use those numbers.
Make sure you’re very clear why you’re getting the number– I want to see her.
I’m getting the number because I can’t make plan A and plan B happen.
Make it a habit that you get a number of every girl that you talk to for 2 minutes.
Set up and determine logistics for the second part of interaction, so you don’t have to do it over the phone.
If you get a number early, the best is to meet when her download bar gets high.
“Have coffee with me tomorrow.” – even if you can’t, you will seem more like a real person and she will know that you didn’t get her number just to get a number.
Make it happen as soon as possible! The longer you take, the more likely she will flake.
“When is the next available opportunity to see her again?”
Women get hit on all the time- all togetherness will fade away
“Do you really want to or are you just saying that. You don’t have to.”- don’t come from insecurity, come from a challenge.
Say “call me”, say it again!
Don’t leave after you get that number, stay a minute longer.
The only purpose is to see her again.
Don’t just text her back and forth and be happy you’re talking to a girl. She will get used to a virtual interaction.
Text her: “What are you doing right now (or tonight)?” or “Where are you?”
If you have to, start chit chatting- if she’s unresponsive or doesn’t want to meet right now.
Fluff- call to action: Ha-ha it’s just for marketing purposes, let’s meet at 6 pm.
Remind her what was like when you interacted.
If that doesn’t work, get her on the phone and change her mood.
A lot of flaking happens because her mood has changed.
Women operate in temporary truths- she is adventurous and wants to meet you for coffee, but when she wakes up and she’s hung over she doesn’t feel like it.
Call twice right away.
When you say to meet you at 5 pm, text her at 4 pm that you’re running late 15 minutes
You remind her of it, and you also give her a way out.
Don’t make it a big deal if she flakes, “what are you doing tomorrow night?” I have 10 women, no problem, if she flakes 3 times than make an emotional spike: “I hate you.”
The only purpose is to fuck her.
Where can I meet her that is as close as possible to sex location?
Meet her at 8 pm for drinks- almost no money, take responsibility off.
Don’t expect you will pick up where you left of. She will not be at the same emotional stat- a brand new open.
Experience it all first hand.
Do a 30 day challenge- go out and start talking to women 30 minutes per day.
There is no other way to get good at this- your mind will get every single excuse in the book not to do it.
You don’t want to change deep down inside- everybody will say yes, but only if it’s given to them.
Go against those urges. You’re not meant to always do what makes you feel good.
You DNA doesn’t care if you ever become a sex worthy guy, you have to act like you are, against your emotions. Gun to the head, what’s the right thing to do
Right now I’m enough, but what makes me enough is the urge to continuously wanting to improve.
Constantly be positive and outgoing.
Keep reinforcing this reality, don’t slip back– other people still believe in it.
3 sets- 3 lessons that you learned
How I pick Up In the Day
Don’t scan environment for hot girls. You get shoved in your head- you start to look for easier situation (she seems like she’s in a hurry.) Don’t be focused to pull her, until you’re in the zone, talk to every girl!
Say: “Nice …” to everyone!
The zone is attached to the environment- you are the shit at the club, but when you step on the street you doubt if it’s still ok to talk to everyone.
I want people to stare, and once you realize you’re still alive, you feel like the boss.
Desensitize from social pressure, laughter helps.
You can be choppy, just laugh at yourself and loosen up.
Be the bigger party, don’t feel like everyone is staring and judging you.
How to Get a Girl into Any Type of Relationship You Want
Always aim for sex. If you sleep with someone that you don’t care about, you’re a slut.
I will backwards rationalize and find all these cool traits that he has, I must love him.
If they don’t stay after sex: you were too much of a lover, or you sucked in bed.
Frame as a lover overall, but as interaction progresses start rewarding her investment by being a provider- “you know, you’re really cool”
The first time you sleep with her be the best you can!
If you want to cement and make sure you will see her again kick her out- no one has ever done that.
Fuck her and take her for a dinner and she’s your girlfriend.
Keep it light, don’t bring it up what you are, and let the actions kick in.
Feminine energy wants to join masculine energy that moves forward not the other way around.
It’s a lot harder to go back– texting her every day (you get stuck doing that)
Don’t see a fuck buddy for more than once or twice a week. Don’t do activities with her and don’t introduce her to your friends.
Facebook is the best tool to keep a girl on the hook– if you don’t see her for months
How to Get Into Exclusive Clubs and Bouncer Game
Dress appropriately to get into the venue- black shirt, black shoes
What are the cool people wearing? Don’t show with more than two guys.
Act like you don’t know each other if there are more guys.
Don’t get into arguments, don’t be desperate and needy. Don’t also be quiet and weird.
I’m getting in no matter what, it’s a little line, but it’s all good.
Are you on the guest list? Yea, it’s just me.
Having girls helps the problems- pick them off in the line.
What I Learned From Tyler and What Tyler Learned From Me
Theme of the program: Deep Identity Level change- being, not doing
We’re thinking: “She’s a beautiful girl with social proof, I’m an average looking guy that’s not rich, it’s simple.” (pedestal)
It’s all in our heads, in reality we’re on the same level or above them.
If we believe it, we will find evidence of that everywhere.
I don’t have to stop entertaining- just let it come from self- amusement.
Total abundance- new city, new women; no problem!
Most guys are looking for a girlfriend- you’re not going to find a good one if you only meet one per year- most generic ideas are completely stupid!
I still need to be social and approach all the time!
Social Conditioning and Authenticity (only a few people are here)
Most people in the world walk through life in a walking daze! (they don’t have concept about who they are, values and what they want and are controlled by people that do know)
Money is useless! Rich guys are attractive to women who love power, that’s true, but don’t try to make more money to get girls.
Money slows you down- you don’t have skills and you have big image of yourself and big ego who shows off his watches (so, it’s 9 o’clock, I think)
Newbies are intimidated by rich guys that have drinks and tables- but girls are just grinding with them, not fucking them (providing males)!
Lover/ provider- know it, but don’t be paranoid if you have a girlfriend
Provider can’t say after a while that he’s a lover, but if you have a one night stand (lover), it’s easy to switch to provider mode (you already have sexual chemistry.)
Not good looking guy has a longer path, not because of his look, but because they have limiting beliefs that they can’t attract girls.
Money and looks are not even bonuses!
Being good looking is nice, because you get a level of success even if you’re a ch-ode.
For good looking guy that gets results fast, motivation will be harder to keep.
Even if there is the best looking guy, and Tyler is only 2% sharper on that night, Tyler will get that girl!
Social conditioning- “I have this rich friend that gets all the girls, I have this good looking friend that staled my girl…”
Social conditioning is everywhere in magazines, media, movies…
Social circle is the most common way that guys meet girls.
Make your own decision based on what you think- not what society or Tyler think.
1st hand, 2nd hand experience- socially based reality
Most social conditioning is good, but not if you want to be a leader.
We are constantly processing other people’s ideas in figuring out:
- how certain they are about these ideas
- how aligned they are with these ideas
- the number of other people that are a part of that idea
The downside is that once is passes our filters you think it’s true.
Ideas, no matter how stupid, can spread out like wildfire (this can cause death, racism and bullshit!)
Unless you have a health problem, you’re fine, don’t complain! Be appreciative to society, but know when to think with your own head.
Society makes you addicted to external stimulation, get’s you addicted to want other people think instead of you, even if you have common sense, society’s beliefs will seem real.
Value is the key.
Value is anything that can helps you survive, helps you reproduce more or ensures that kids will survive. Beyond that, it’s also good emotions.
Value is like a magnet.
We were cave men much longer, and it was build on short- term thinking, while in today’s society we need long- term thinking.
We want pleasure and want to cultivate more value for ourselves.
Value is not the same for a guy than for a woman.
A cave man doesn’t know what he looks like- he doesn’t care about a pimple, he cares about what he will eat.
Back in the days surviving was really hard, women were looking for fearlessness, a guy that dictates reality, dominance…
Those qualities have nothing to do with looks. If your heart starts pumping when you want to approach her and your nervous you have NO VALUE!
Most girls have orbiters or parents, girls don’t need a rich guy.
Being a provider is not that appealing anymore.
She needs a couple hours to determine if she wants you- behavior cues
Light switch and volume nob
It’s important to have good behavior and people that react good to you.
It’s tough for a guy that learns this, because women have multiple personalities; if you convey attractive qualities she will use the personality for this kind of guys and everything will be great, but your behaviors can change second to second (from alpha to beta), unlike women who can’t change from hot to average in a second.
Example: you begin strong and everything is great, but then you think how great it would be if you would hook up with this cutie, and interaction becomes scarce, you become attached to the outcome and everything goes downhill.
My value is not static, it changes from second to second- nothing is granted. Attraction is straight forward and happens in an instant- or not (maybe you can’t get that special girl- think abundant instead)
Neediness is extremely unattractive- if you would sleep with 5 women per day, you would not feel it.
Objectification- being the object of value.
Social conditioning doesn’t tell you have to become stronger as a person, work on insecurities, but it tells you to dress like a guy from magazine- you get the money and everything works out for you (products, clothes…)
Society gives you a set of goals that are very achievable- but that’s not what I would call a successful life, but it gives you never ending stimulation, magic pill for everything and the answer to all your problems- if you have a demand you will get a supply… believe in the system and everything will be fine
No one is responsible for it. Magic pill is demanded- that’s what people want
When there is no solution to your problem- people are outraged!
Society is like a Hollywood movie- good guy, bad guy and ending in social norms (message: go America, the system works!) People like the simplicity, they don’t want to think and be aware all the time- God is on our side, no matter who you are.
Study to become a doctor and you will get girls- believing in a system, and he will get married, but that girl will fuck 10 bartenders behind the dumpster before that happens.
“You are not a special snowflake, you are not your furniture, your wallet.”
System will not bring your confident rock star personality to stand out.
What if I play the system (I get the looks, the money and become a doctor that saves thousands of lives): That girl will still have more value than me, when she puts on that dress and goes to a night club if that’s my belief system!
If society dictates me what’s valuable even after I achieved all of that; when I approach her I will feel nervous and feel like I have an empty cup and she can fill it.
No matter how high you get as a man, you can’t beat the game (there are a few exceptions)
The social conditioning game (being a little consumer) is not winnable.
By buying the 20th pare of shoes you want that little piece of self- esteem; novelty lasts for a few weeks, than you want the 21th pare- same for cars, houses… That’s what advertising does! It takes self- esteem away and says fuck you, buy more!
I can feel like that all the time.
Don’t look up to those people that think they are high status, because parents gave them money- you’re looking at superficial things again! Same for looks- it’s just genetics.
The standard of good looking changes over time (from muscles to skinny- Italy)
Money and health are for ME!
We have natural drives that we want to be like, we want girls which is great, but society pushes on these buttons- takes it away, and gives it to us (external stimulus)
Tyler has tension when he talks about social conditioning because of what it did to him for 20 years (girls, no having permission to be cool)
Successful males see other people being scared (like a matrix)- even trying to dance, not because they want to, but because they try to fit in!
You see that sweet harmless girl, which would not do anything bad and something is holding you back- you need more money, maybe if you looked like that guy from a commercial…
Best consumers are dissatisfied, confused, with no identity and no values (he wants what other people want)
Spectator culture- we watch other people getting famous, doing something (we don’t want the glory anymore; we would rather watch about the environment then going there)
People stand by and watch it and put it on YouTube instead of doing something.
It’s easy, it’s safe.
People even want to just watch Tyler do it, and that’s enough for them.
Even if you live up to other people’s standards you’re stupid! Even if you have made it, you have still been reacting to other people- if you want to be a nerd, be a nerd and believe it works!
Men try to react to her standards- “Please tell me I’m cool” and trying to say what she wants to hear.
Instead talk about what you like.
Same thing happened if you talked to a cool kid and he was talking about a thing that you didn’t care about, but you still wanted to keep the conversation going by trying to think about all the things you know about this theme.
In interaction the other person is trying to live up to the cool guy’s standards and values.
“Is this distancing me from who I meant to be?” if it is, don’t do it!
Use it, or lose It.
Self is always coming through- if you’re cool you can say the dumbest stuff and get away (bad body language and saying stupid thing)
Everybody has an image of who they think they are.
Value comes first- if you have high value, you can be nice or a jerk and it will be fine, but if you’re a nice guy with low value, things will go bad.
If you have enough value sense of humor is automatic- she will laugh no matter what you do (“I don’t care about value, I just want him to make me laugh”)
Same goes for connection- everybody feels like they have connection with a cool guy (spend more time building value and becoming stronger, than trying to become funnier, building connection)
Value is not everything, but almost everything is build with it.
She wants to get to know you in detail, she will spend time listening what you have to say if you have value.
People will move on if you don’t have value- people don’t enjoy being around you. When you invest time in energy on something or someone, you get some sort of value from it, and other people get it from you.
RAS- reticular activation system (filters out things without value, and gets attention to things that have value, or thread)
Successful guys know where RAS is in the room.
If you have value, she is absorbing everything from you, even if her boyfriend is yelling. If there is more value somewhere else, the bad things in RAS will get focused on and she will leave you (that’s what haunts men that are good with women)
Get in touch with the person that you want to be- don’t react to being un- reactive
Hold paradoxical realities in your head, but don’t be bothered by them.
Accept that the world owns you nothing.
When you have value, people try to impress you, listen to you and turn to you.
If she doesn’t want to go with you, you didn’t have enough value.
No one wants to sit at the boring people table and look over to the cool people. Don’t mind sitting there, create your own fun wherever you are!
Value can change in situation- a friend can be awkward in one environment, and you want to get rid of him, but at a different party you realize you’re clinging on to him.
Situational confidence is the same thing- if you know you can anticipate a positive response, you will feel confident; you feel like you can be you.
(professor has no authority and confidence in a bar, bartenders have no confidence in a lecture class)
When you think you have value you will be outside of your head- in the moment.
Assuming and expecting that everyone is your friend, enjoying the moment (“how can I make this moment better?”- makes you stuck in your head)
How to make people like you- express personality and let the chips fall where they may (most attractive)
By trying less you communicate value. When you try to think ahead of what cool you could say, you lose them. Just enjoy being with them.
In any social interaction there is one person that is reacting more than the other person.
If she’s reacting to you she feels good when you touch her and she is paying attention if you like her as well, how she’s standing…
Anytime you’re wondering if you’re doing the right thing (is it a good time to call…) is the time you’re not having value and you’re losing a relationship.
Everyone wants to hang out with cool people that don’t give their power away- keep it to yourself, if they want you to give it away, that’s the person you want to stay away from anyway.
In a certain environment even short bald guys (no superficial things) have have status over girls (people are reacting to them)- can hook up with them; girls are in the moment, and she will have complaints towards him.
The same guy in a different party will suck! He doesn’t know anybody, he’s not having fun and not leading people around anymore.
Core confidence- I’m having fun and I don’t care about anything (life of a party everywhere) and everyone is reacting to him.
I’m providing value by having a great vibe- I have permission to have core confidence in every situation with whoever is there.
Drop all the shields and forget about where you are- it doesn’t matter.
You’re not falling in love with one girl, you’re learning to attract women in general.
When she leaves you, you want to feel the same emotions, but that person doesn’t exist anymore (those promises, values don’t exist.) You don’t want to learn how to be a pimp, you just want her back. Special spots that you used, will be used with a new guy, that dress that you bought to look awesome, will be used on the next guy to fuck him.
“I will love you for ever. I can’t experience this with another girl (qualities, values), and she fucks other guys with the same clothes…
Love is not caused by another person, it’s caused by ourselves- looping our thoughts around the person, and suddenly everything makes sense, emotions intensify and you fall in love. She may not be who you think she is.
Many times this good feeling is co-dependance. Anytime you lose that person, you shouldn’t feel any different (it’s unhealthy and hearth breaking.) Girl is not a source of love, I am- if she’s gone, I still have my self- esteem and self- love.
In a healthy relationship you don’t start with an empty cup and hope that she will fill it. You don’t know her! You don’t fall in love with every person, you need to get to know her!
When you hook up with her and you’re sitting with her in a club the feeling is addictive, but when she met you, you were not reactive, not outcome seeking and then you change, because you think you’re together and you’re attached. And the same guy that got her now loses state and panics when she’s talking to another guy.
She might like you when you’re acting attractive, but if you change that with neediness she will leave!
Have standards and don’t lose state.
Don’t assume anything about the girl- she might see 5 other guys even if she says you are amazing and have great cock.
From scarcity you want a needy girlfriend, when you have abundance you can’t even get it to work.
Enjoy experience fully, but don’t be attached (or she will transform into a different person)
Love is something that you experience within yourself- when you walk down the street, loo at the sky… get the spiritual side handled.
World is a beautiful place, I’m at home- when you have that amazing feeling you don’t even need a relationship, and then all the girls want to be with you (the hungry don’t get fed- paradox)
When you base relationship and posses it, it dies.
People rely on that feeling with consumerism and validation.
What behaviors do I have when I’m on my own and feeling good? Allow myself to feel good and communicate with everybody like a person that I want to be.
From social conditioning to a better place.
This concepts and principles are not that important- they are leading to different place where I will be different which is important.
Identity relates you and separates you from social environment- here is what makes me who I am, here is what gives me a certain status, so I can act this way…
We are always processing the world based on that little seed that is our identity (how to experience people, environment…)
We all have a concept of a cool guy, and we don’t give ourselves a permission to be that guy- there is no limit to your success, but your belief of how successful you can be. Identity can help you greatly, or it can hold you back tremendously!
Most guys don’t want to learn this. Anything that has to do with elevating your status or going beyond the constrains of identity- they will block it out!
It’s outside their reality “that’s not me”
A lot of my identity and personality is arbitrary- it could develop in another way, it can be whatever you want it! (childhood bullies, wealthy parents…)
You didn’t came up with personality (“That’s me, I came out with, I can’t do something that’s not me!”) You may try to step up, and other kids are even more passive so you get confident, or you are where bullies are and when you step up you get shut down.
Depression, self- pity… are luxuries! They get you moving! If you’re spoiled, you don’t.
The core of who you are has never changed, it’s always there; personality traits can change! You can be who you want to be!
“Wow man, you changed so much, since last year!”
You think you don’t have opportunities, but you have tons of them! 80% of population is stuck, and I’m not!
If you want to change your style- do it, change your personality- do it. You see cool people doing something and say you can’t do it- you can do it all!
I know what I deserve with women. Where do I view myself on a ladder? Can I talk to my 10 like I deserve her on every level? Just excited with no attachment? If you do, attraction is automatic.
Centered in my sense of identity.
The main difference between the dancing monkey and sex- worthy guy is knowing who he is.
We are looking for how other people react to our behavior (social feedback)
If you’re tried to step up and others didn’t approved of it you didn’t want to be cool, fun and confident anymore.
When you’re driving if someone says “go right” with certainty you will go, while if he’s uncertain you still won’t be sure.
When a cool kid was so certain that you’re a nerd or that he’s better you start to believe it. For whatever reason they were certain, they create psychological pressure on you and you become what they want you to become.
A lot of stupid people in this world have high level of certainty.
Tyler is the opposite of a bully- when you act like a beta guy he screams and he rewards when you step up- do the same!
Imprint- concepts of what cool people are, high status people, people of value…
Being relaxed, awesome around some people, but losing it with other people. (different imprints)
“Your situation is always changing, and as it does your mind is always seeking social feedback to determine how much value you have and figuring out what personality is the most appropriate at the time.”
Your mind is letting you have a certain personality, but sometimes it won’t let you- if you have high value it lets you act cool.
Mind allows you if it thinks that people will like you for it (cavemen would smash your head.) This is called STATE; but now you can be the biggest dick in a club and nothing will happen. Thread level is massively reduced!
You’re going to be the dumb guy who’s trying hard and looking stupid, but you have to do it to get new behaviors. Endure humiliation.
When you have value, mind gives you encouragement to act cool (when you get kicked out of the tribe, you’re done- two major strengths are intelligence and social bonding)
These emotions are set up so you don’t step up- if you don’t have value from backing up your leadership your mind prevents you to step up.
Nimbus (state)- giving yourself permission to be who you are. It’s emotional system (good emotions and I don’t care)
Characteristic of being in a state:
a feeling of being complete, surge of positivity and dominance, a sort of naturalness when everything clicks, a feeling that you are the source of good emotions in the environment, nothing can go wrong, I offer the value, abundance…
Out of state: burden of being incomplete, anxious, unnatural (everything is off rhythm, other people are the source of good emotions, scanning for value; everyone is having fun, I should do approaches)
When I’m in state I have access of the best parts of my personality (be your BEST self), my mind is quiet in the moment and everything works.
People assume you have value when you’re in state.
Total acceptance of now (not resisting reality): this is what it is, what’s the right action?
Not approaching when out of state- keeping yourself out of state, resisting the moment!
Know where you’re going- be decisive
Feel the motion of the body, but still do it (being drunk, but still trying to walk the straight line)
Getting successful is messy, then other say you were lucky.
Getting yourself to be in state- meditation
Identity criterion- what does your mind need for you to be a cool guy? (where does your mind reference how much value you have)
clothes- when they are new everybody is checking you out- because of the way that you feel about yourself (rules, when you feel good), same for girls, which have to wear make up or have a dress, otherwise they don’t go to a club
Newbies go out in packs- 12 people (they go in state like that, and they get obnoxious, do things that they can’t get away if they were not a part of a big group)
Try breaking out from your buddies to no be dependent on them- confidence from within.
Lucky penny, new pick up line- make you feel like you’re the source of fun.
If you can’t open a girl with introducing yourself- it’s just a girl, there’s work to be done.
Women can like me just for me (I don’t need a line, access of a good party or guitar)
I ran out of things to say- you have unlimited things to say, it’s about your state
Roles- only getting dates when other guys watch you
“Dude, you’re cool”- he’s the judge and your state changes (he’s higher and more certain in this role; I guess I’m beta now)
If you don’t react to a guy- he doesn’t have enough value; my RAS tuns them out and others see it
Ego structure doesn’t affect your responses.
Superficial social standards, alliances, competencies, role plays and Core Values
Most styles are dictated from people that believe in themselves.
(I’m going to own whatever I’m wearing, I make those clothes cool)
Flip around the cause and effect- instead of trying to make friends in a club to get confident, be confident and you will get friends- you are a confident person
Identify yourself as individual who can’t be categorized. Personality is flexible and can evolve in every situation. You value your own opinion of yourself more than opinions of others and you value based on your criteria.
Acceptance in any situation doesn’t threat your overall well- being.
You know your best qualities and you know they exist, even if other people don’t see them.
You offer real value whether other people acknowledge it or not.
Whoever has the stronger believe of where they are in social interaction and how other people should treat them win.
There’s always someone trying to impress to someone (even if it’s a woman being quiet and listening to a guy)
If you feel less when that person leaves you have weaker reality. Don’t react to things that she likes- be centered, express YOUR humor.
Who is changing the tone to fit in? Who would have the same amount of fun if other person would not be there? Who changes the definition of cool and who stays the same?
Instead of reacting with take away, just have fun on your own.
Most people don’t have fun standing in line- resistance. Be self- amused all the time, amuse yourself!
Nonreactive doesn’t mean being inexpressive and unresponsive.
You don’t allow anyone to put you in a different role.
Plowing- holding your frame of reality
Not only am I not reacting to negativity, I don’t even know it exists (my reality is positive) A.K.A you’re acting retarded.
Who is trying to change the way that you act to get value from that person, and who acts like themselves?
Trust in your faculties- I don’t need to look at others for guidance
If insult comes from a person that you think has high value you become more obsessed and you react (it’s in my RAS), if it’s a homeless guy, you don’t care.
If you believe that anything is a short coming than it is, if you thin it’s no big deal, than it isn’t.
This product is a little different from other products that Julien has released in the past. Previous products (PIMP and The Shift) were more focused on doing, while this one is designed to reconnect you with the being.
There are 3 basic paradigms:
Most people live in the having paradigm – they identify and put value on what they have. These are guys that draw their confidence from their looks, money and status. They lose their confidence when they are not groomed well or the clothes that they are wearing aren’t that nice. This is unsustainable – when you enter “The Game” you quickly move past that into doing paradigm.
This is where 95% of the people in that community are – they identify with what they do. It’s no longer about how they look and how much money they have, it’s more about the actions they do – what they say and how they say it.
A quick test to determine if you are in this paradigm is to stop talking while being with a girl – while your conversation is going good, shut up and just keep looking at her. If this makes you feel uneasy and anxious that she is going to live if you stop talking and lose attraction, you are in doing paradigm. It’s basically saying that “If I stop doing, I’m going to lose the girl.” That’s where you draw your confidence.
That’s where most men are also paying attention (perhaps you are also watching Real Social Dynamics videos on YouTube) – “He said this, she did that, then he reacted this way…” This is also where all the tactics, all the techniques belong to – learning what to say next, how to say it, how to move…
This is very comfortable and logical – “If I do this, I will get that result.” Most people look at all these different openers, stories… “If I say this and it’s more interesting then what the other guy is saying, I’ll get her.” This is ALSO unsustainable – it takes a lot of effort, you will burn yourself out and it’s not going to be fun – it will prevent you from expressing that “being.”
This is what this product is going to do for you – get you past the doing paradigm and into the being paradigm.
One of the simplest examples is taking a look at one of the openers – did that girl ever heard the opener “Hey, how is it going?” Clearly she has! Now the question is – has she heard it from you? NO!
That’s what this is all about – it has nothing to do with logic, you may not be able to explain it with words, but that is the being, the value that you can offer. No one else can offer the same value, no one can be you.
Fully realize that this is very you should be putting your confidence to. Not on your looks, not on your possessions and money that you have and not on the actions that you have learned in YouTube videos, but on your being.
Attraction will be automatic, and you will be more relaxed, because you are unique.
This applies with the general vibe of who you are, and also little subtle things – you can still give value while asking a question with the right tonality (watch the video to completely understand it, it can’t possibly be put into words.) The being can only be emotionally recognized.
This course is focused on quality, not quantity – if you are not getting the results and the success that you want, it’s easy to blame it on the fact that you may not be learning enough (doing enough.)
“What are some other things that I need to do, to get the girl?” It’s not that that, it’s about the place where these actions and doing come from! From there you can do more if you want to, but you don’t have to. Until you get to the being, the doing will always suffer.
A lot of you may have friends that don’t even know what The Game is, and they just effortlessly get the girl, while you are learning all of these principles and actions and focus on doing. These guys understand the being.
The same applies for motivation – people look for all these reasons to get motivated, but that’s not the correct approach – why do you need motivation in the first place? You should not need the motivation. It’s getting to the cause, not working on the effects.
If you are coming from the “taking value frame of mind” no action is going to fix that, you have to change that frame. Techniques will never help you with that, you will need to get to the cause, get to the “be.”
This course is focused on the macros – the big concepts that you need to get right and they cover all the little details within itself. When you go out, you shouldn’t be thinking about all this content and techniques, just a few laws that guide everything. If you have too much content, it’s going to stifle you and prevent you from being unique.
No matter how advanced something is, it will always come down to the 10 laws that you are going to learn in this program.
This is all the content that you need, don’t get lost in the details, don’t get stifled… whenever something isn’t working, you will be able to trace it back to one of these 10 laws.
The Game isn’t about judging yourself and getting all of the little details right, you don’t really have to be that good to succeed. It’s not about beating yourself up for forgetting one little thing, just get the big things right and you will be amazing.
The value of uniqueness is far more important then doing everything just like Julien tells you to do in his thousands of principles and lessons (this course is enough.)
Then we will jump to The 10 Laws In Action where we will see how these principles work Infield. Of course you will see all the actions, but make sure that your primary focus is on “be.” Focus on the little things that you can only emotionally recognize. You can’t fully put this into words.
You are going to see Julien do well (offering value), and doing not so well (taking value.) And if you had to describe everything to a friend just using logic, that wouldn’t be well explained.
A good example of how most guys are trying the learn the game is as if they are trying to play an instrument without ever hearing the song before – just logically reading about it won’t get you far. You absolutely need to watch Infield videos multiple times to understand these subtle distinctions.
It doesn’t really matter how good you are technically, if you don’t have a soul, it’s just not going to happen.
After that you are going to go through the Interactive Exercises to get some experience before going out. These are recommended daily, do them as soon as you watch the video, it’s advised to get a friend over to practice it with, start noticing the difference inside. Not only will you understand it, then recognize it and experience it, you will then go out and implement it in the Module 4 – The 10 Missions.
Throughout this entire product (set of videos) ask yourself how to feel the way Julien feels when he is interacting with women. This is not about replicating Julien’s words or actions, this is about seeing the dynamics behind the words and actions. The place where all of this is coming from – identify that within yourself, and then bring it out through these 10 Laws – 10 Macro Concepts.
This not about becoming Julien Blanc’s copy, this is about bringing the real you, your being, uniqueness, and value out into the world. This will help you to shift the focus into what really matters.
Hopefully this will change your life beyond women, and you will become a truly different person once you are finished with this course. It will finally click, and you will have the direction, the knowing…
Enjoy the experience.
The 10 Laws of Game
Law 1: Get Out Of Your Own Way
Guys get stifled by theory – they analyze too much (little details), they take every little movement and sentence, and they make a big deal out of it. In reality, all of that just doesn’t matter.
Stop focusing on micro concepts, and get the big things right – macro concepts (the rest will take care of itself.) Back in the old days guys would get stifled with routines, and it would kill “the soul of the pick up.” Now men are being stifled by concepts – “Am I in state? Do I have high vibration energy? Is my hand in the right position?” Forget about all of that!
In reality, the way you learn game isn’t getting a lot of reference experiences that eventually build your attractive personality. The game isn’t something that you build up to, you already have everything that you need. It’s something that you already have, but there are a lot of bad stuff blocking it so it doesn’t come out. Everyone already has scenarios in his life where your fun, outgoing, and attractive personality shines out – it may be with your family, friends, or people that you don’t find particularly attractive.
You already know how to keep talking with women that don’t interest you, but you tend to freeze when you get in front of someone that you actually want to date or sleep with.
It’s not about learning how to keep talking and talking, it’s about how to unleash that part that already knows how to do that with some people and get it to do that with everyone.
And if you don’t know how to be comfortable with your closest friends, perhaps you have other scenarios. A lot of socially awkward people may play online video games or be in online chat rooms where they have a sense of humor and really chat, even if when you see them out on the streets they might be the nerdiest people you could find. But in that video game scenario, with their headphones and empty house, they are the loudest in the entire chat! How can they bring that out into the real world? Getting out of your own way is probably 80% of the things that you need to master to be great.
What are some of the things that will get in your way and block you?
- Need for approval
- Attached to an outcome
- Internal fears
- Taking things personally
- Waiting for the right moment
- Fear of Rejection
- Being nervous
- Protecting Self-image
Julien never has a bad night out. That doesn’t mean that he always pulls, be he always feels good, he’s never “out of state.”
Money and looks DO NOT matter at all – it doesn’t matter how you look like (within reason) and it doesn’t matter if you are poor. The way you feel about yourself matters a lot!
Picture this scenario for a minute: You are going to the most exclusive club that you can find dressed the way you are dressed right now, and when you get there you see that the celebrity that you find the hottest (whoever that might be for you) is there dressed in the most amazing dress (or naked if you want), sitting in the most VIP section, she is the leader of the hottest table in the club and there are her bodyguards around her (maximum security), and just the most interesting, high value people you have ever seen (rich, famous – Leonardo DiCaprio, Johnny Depp…) Everything is happening around her (that’s why everyone is there), lights are on her, and everyone is looking at her all the time. You are there looking the way you look right now and you have to open.
Who would freeze? The vast majority. The most important realization here is that it doesn’t matter how much money you have, how great looking you are, how much status you have, if you lifestyle is absolutely amazing… if the girl is hot, she will always have access to richer, better looking guys then you. You will never ever win that game.
A hot girl can have jets and sports cars in a few second. She can hang around celebrities without any difficulties. Those things are for you (money, looks, status) – you don’t have to win that game to win women.
The best way to zone out of it is to focus on the one thing that you can offer her and no one else can top you on that – your own uniqueness. That’s the only thing that you have that no one else can beat you at with absolute certainty. It’s super cheesy, but it’s how you win the game.
Zone out so hard on that unique value, that everything else melts away.
We always look for the best story, the best opener… other people can have better ones then you. Like we said earlier, women have already heard “Hey, how is it going?” but they haven’t heard you saying it. You can’t put it into words, but you can emotionally experience it. Zone in on that and make her have the best experience she can have.
That’s what Julien also did in his earlier days – he would actually steal models from celebrities which logically doesn’t make sense, because these celebrities could improve these girls’ careers, they had connections to other people, but these girls rather chose a broke guy over that celebrity, they chose Julien, because his experience topped every other experience. Julien’s uniqueness was more appealing.
Stop focusing on the details – The soul primes above all else. The soul is your uniqueness, that’s above guidelines, theory, techniques, rules… she will like you more if you broke the rules a bit and be more human, then if you were perfect. The guy that follows every single rule is boring, he has no soul, no uniqueness… there is nothing attractive about it.
Focus on the big concepts, forget about everything else. No girl has every judged you because of little details (even waiting for the perfect moment is a little detail that you shouldn’t be focusing on.)
Stop trying to open up perfectly and to make game beautiful. No girl has ever been with a guy because of his opener, or completely rejected someone because of his opener – it was something else she didn’t like. No girl has ever been with a guy because he looked cool when her friends came in or not been with him because he didn’t looked cool when her friends came in. She’s not looking at the little details, she looks at the big picture – is this guy awesome or not? Little things don’t matter, get out of your way and be human, don’t try to be perfect.
Body language is also a detail – Julien can have the weirdest body language that he can possible come up with, and the woman will still love him.
If you have a problem with pleasing everyone, fear or rejection, or seeking approval, realize that if you are putting out your uniqueness, it’s not for everyone – no matter who you are, if you are authentically expressing yourself, some people will hate you. Rejection is not good or bad, it’s natural, it should happen. It’s not about doing anything wrong, when you meet a lot of people, you will like some while dislike others, you are just not meant to connect, not compatible. The same thing will happen with girls. It’s hard to believe if you are a beginner, but you won’t like most of the attractive girls, at least not completely. The only way to get everyone to like you, is to keep changing who you are, to be a social chameleon to manipulate their reactions. By doing that, you are also an ultimate people pleaser, you compromise who you are, the uniqueness, and self-worth.
For example if you say a joke (authentically) and she hates it, you could tone down your humor forever and never say similar things when she’s around, or just accept the fact that you are no compatible.
You should be with someone when you don’t have to hide who you are and not worry about giving off the wrong impression.
That’s actually what most guys are like – they are paranoid they are going to destroy the impression that the girl has created in their hand, and that they will mess up the relationship which is ridiculous.
The far better approach is to actually find the girls who will love you for who you are. That can’t happen if you are afraid of rejection, and want to connect with every girl that you meet. DO NOT compromise what’s congruent and authentic to you to form a good impression.
As sad as that sounds, that’s most guy’s goals – get out of that people pleasing paradigm! Most guys would describe their night of success as “looking cool” even if nothing happened, that’s just fueling your ego, instead of actually getting the girl. You have to sit down and seriously think through if you want to be a people pleaser, or to hang out with girls that you enjoy while expressing who you are without holding back and manipulating.
Realize that not everything is about you – there are many factors to consider. The girl that you open right now could be having the saddest night of her life (she got horrible news) and you didn’t know it. She doesn’t want you in her life at that moment, and you are going to get rejected.
Maybe she just want to be with her friends. It may not have anything to do with you.
Girls might also be open to different things during different times in the same night out. That part is also described in “PIMP” where we talk about “Tempo of the night.” A girl doesn’t want to just go home with you if she just got in the club, it’s just too early, she wants that to happen as “an emotional climax” of the night out… and she also doesn’t want to talk for 4 hours to the same guy – that’s not her goal.
That means that even if you are projecting your authentic self, it just won’t happen, but that will work later in the night. You are going to get a number early in the night and a date later. Don’t beat yourself up.
Rejection is gradual, it’s not an on/off switch – if we say something, we won’t get rejected just because we said that one thing… unless you do something extremely uncalibrated you won’t mess it up with one action… it will usually gradually die.
Why do you need someone’s approval to feel complete? Why are you attached to an outcome? What’s so bad if you don’t get the girl?
If you are going to take the game extremely seriously, you will give up because you will constantly be stressed out and forget to have any fun in the process. If you don’t enjoy something (it may even be working out, working, or eating healthy) you may have will power, but you will inevitably give up.
This is also the reason why every 6 months, 80% quit The Game and the new group of guys joins, because they hated it, but if you bring your soul into it, if you make it more human while enjoying and having fun, things will be much easier.
A world of no rejection and discomfort will never happen, that’s what creates resistance, everyone is attached to that world. That is a good marketing strategy – “Never get rejected ever again.” That DOES NOT exist if you want to be authentic and genuine.
Think about what unrealistic reality are you hanging on to? You will have to let it go. The other problem as we said before is the need for approval – if you can get approval, that means that you can also lose it. The assumption here is that you don’t feel like you are good enough, complete. But you already are!
Even within the interaction guys will get her approval and then be scared to lose it – they get weird.
The core issue might be The fear of being alone so people keep clinging on to every girl. Accept and be OK with being alone, then the fear is gone.
Then there is your ego where guys want to validate their self-image about who they are. As long as you will have some sort of an image that you want to validate, you will be in your own way. As long as you are trying to get a certain reaction, you are in your own way – that’s something to think about: “What reactions are you hoping to get? Why do you need them?”
Same thing applies to “being out of state.” What’s so bad about it, why do you need it so bad? If someone told you from the beginning of time that being out of state and being rejected is AWESOME, how would you feel? You would be happy. As soon as you would feel happy about being out of state, you would be in state! Keep that in mind.
We are all going to probably have approach anxiety until the day we die, but different individuals have different labels for it, and get affected differently. When most guys have “a state crash” or approach anxiety, they freak out and make a big deal out of it which triggers a whole chain of negative emotions. Expectations are huge – being attached to an outcome leads to bad results. People expect to have good reference experiences, to have fun, to make a particular night awesome… And then there are the nights when you say “who knows what will happen” (casually without expectations) and all the great things happen that night!
The cure of state crash is to learn how to feel good all the time – feel good every time you feel bad; feel good every time you feel anxiety. Also let go of the labels – feeling high vibration energy every time you are in state – that’s not what a state is. It’s counter-intuitive, but if you resist a negative feeling, there will be more resistance, more negative emotions, beating yourself up, anxiety, and attaching yourself to an outcome of being in the state again and not getting it! That’s a downward spiral. Instead, embrace all the negative things that are happening, absolutely love them and you will always get back in state.
It’s easier said than done, but it’s what we all have to do.
If you run out of things to say, you could just tell the girl (not making a big deal out of it, smiling) “I just ran out of things to say.” Not the pressure is off.
Scarcity of time and women: When you go out, most bars aren’t exactly packed with incredibly beautiful women, there might be two or three. When you see those, you feel that scarcity. “There is she, there is my one chance, I cannot mess this up!” There’s a lot of pressure put on that interactions. If there were infinite tries because there were infinite gorgeous women at your sight, all of that blockage would be gone.
To solve this there is a counter-intuitive solution – Learn to have the same amount of fun with all women. If you want to get the 10’s, you have to game the 2’s. Until you do, you will not game the 10’s. The guy who only games the women he finds attractive and is good, can be consistent with 7’s and 8’s, but he will never be consistent with 9’s and 10’s. He mustn’t be so attached to it. You have to be so loose and so care free, that they will be drawn to you. When you do that, you have infinite chances, because every girl is the same to you – way more care free, get out of your way.
Imagine – how will you feel when you will be talking to a girl that’s not that attractive, what will other people say? You may think that you are portraying lower value, but in reality you are the higher value, because you are so cool you can do this. The guy who is not that cool wouldn’t be able to have so much fun with a girl that’s not that hot. He would too worried about what other people might think of him, other people would sense that. Ideally, you are so at ease with yourself and so comfortable that you can get away with it.
Guys are trying to be cool, but to be cool you just have to stop caring, nothing should affect you. The guy who’s cool can get away with horrible body language, he’s not trying to be cool, because the guy that tries to be cool, is not cool and girls will sense that!
A good example of this is Vince Vaughn at Wedding Crashers who was dancing with an old lady. Nobody thought that he is lower value because he’s having fun with an old lady. He’s so comfortable with himself that he’s the life of the party. The guy in the corner that is constantly looking where the hot girl is, is actually lower value, he’s not cool. That doesn’t mean that you will sleep with them, but it does mean that you should flirt with them. But the flirting itself will be different with an old lady, then it would be with the girl that you are going to get.
You have to do it the right way, don’t lead those girls on, they have to know that you are just flirting as a way to make everything more fun. You are doing it like you would be teasing your little sister, nothing more.
Law 2: Offer Value
The easiest way to get out of your own way, to let go of the outcome, stop zoning in on what you can take, focus on what you can give. Every time that you have experienced approach anxiety, you were attached to a certain outcome – you want things to go a certain way, not another way.
Every time you felt tense, afraid… you were focused on taking something. The question you can ask yourself every time you don’t feel awesome is – “What am I trying to take?”
It could be very subtle like reinforcement of a certain image, of ego. Every time you are trying to take, you are stifled.
Julien asked someone to yell something as loud as he can – the first thing that comes to mind is “What should I yell? What’s a good thing to yell… how will I look if I yelled this VS that?” Subtly you are trying to take.
If the whole group yells something, and then he yells the same thing – his yell is louder, that’s because you are a part of the group, it’s collaborative, the group is no longer “a separate entity” you are trying to impress/win over. As soon as you are a part of the group, it gets easy. That’s what’s messes you up when you are outside. You are alone “trying” to win over other people. If you think “oh, there’s the girl, we are all on the same team, we are all together” it’s win-win instead of being this huge obstacle that’s blocking your way.
“The best way to open is to skip the open.” Imagine you already opened her and act accordingly. Remind yourself that people aren’t your enemy, they are not something that you have to win over or prove to them your worth, assuming they won’t like you unless you do something… we are all on the same team having fun.
People experience that when they have to dance or sing, it’s almost as they need permission from someone before they can do it. We all have this loud personality, it’s already inside us, but most of us have blockage stopping us.
As soon as you switch from what can I take from what can I give you will start to have fun with every girl because now you are not thinking to yourself “What can I take from the hot girl that I can’t take from an unattractive girl?” Get turned on by giving, by offering value.
Two great ways to offer value are good emotions and realness. And even beyond that think for yourself what benefits does a girl get for being with you? We rarely think about what we can give, because we are so focused on what we can take.
The reason why so few people actually know what makes them feel good is because they are so focused on the girl – “How can I get a good reaction from her? How can I make her laugh?” What about you?
If you don’t know what the girl is getting out of it (what your value is) you are always going to feel guilty, like you are tricking her out of (same as sales.) If you are selling something you should also make a list of all the things that these people are going to get out of it and remind yourself how awesome that is! They don’t know that, so you have to communicate it to them, lead them to those benefits.
When you walk up to a girl you already know which benefits she will get, but you have to communicate them to the girl – knowing what value you are offering.
Good emotions and realness are two benefits that anyone can offer, but in today’s world they are very rear and valuable.
And again, if you are unsure whether you are taking of giving, open with a silent opener (just come to a girl and be quiet) and you will quickly see how she responds to your vibe. If there is taking she will walk away fast, if there is giving she will get sucked in. Giving is always in the vibe. Even asking a question can trigger different responses – with one vibe you are getting a response, with the other you are triggering certain emotions and giving value.
Law 3: Make Yourself Feel Good
Be the entertainer, but not for the girl, be your own #1 monkey, dancing clown, make yourself feel awesome!
3 Inner Buttons That We All Have:
- Fun – positivity, happy, joyful smiling
- Care free – relaxed, at easy, not caring about anything
- Passion –engaged, excited
Everyone wants to be a part of these 3 things! Get creative (not in terms of the words that you say) to link everything that she says, you say, that happens around you to these three things.
That’s what we did for the issue of not knowing what to say next, or when being out of state.
This is why Julien never has a bad night out, he gets rejected, but he always feels good. Don’t laugh at the girl, laugh at yourself. There should be absolute zero hurt in your communication, zero resentment, zero anger.
Do something that interrupts that pattern – if you are very logical, blur out something random to spike up your emotions. You can also ask dumb questions.
Stop paying so much attention on what people who are gaming are doing, pay more attention to how those things make them feel. That’s why emulating what other people say isn’t working (don’t copy their actions and words), you have to copy the emotions.
Once you are able to make yourself feel good, you no longer need the girl to feel so good, you manage to get the outcome you were hoping she’ll give you, you let go of the outcome, and now you get her. That’s freedom from the outcome, either way you feel good, because you feel exactly like you are hoping that the girl will make you feel.
You can also think about the things that you say and do when you are in the state and then categorize them to start seeing the patterns.
Generate fun and then share it! You need to learn how to generate fun and don’t forget to come from the giving, not taking paradigm.
Be real, don’t fake anything – if you are out of state, don’t fake being in state, embrace it instead. Be authentic in terms of your vibe, being real in terms of your “man to woman.” If you feel guilty about your intentions, you are not real. Being real produces a lot of value, because no one is real especially when talking to a hot girl. Every guy who is talking to a hot girl either wants approval or to get her. If they are being nice, they are nice to get the approval, if they are mean, they are mean to get the approval (they heard that it helps them get girls.)
A girl is like a millionaire in the club full of poor people – men are acting in different ways, but there is also a hidden agenda. Get rid of the agenda and she will love you for it.
Things like push-pull (love you, hate you), statements of intent (hey, you are beautiful), being physical, laser eye contact… we all think this is what makes it man to woman. It can amplify it.
We are scared of being real because we are scared that if we are, something bad will happen, we will get rejected – we hold back parts of our personality.
In reality nothing bad will happen! Use those things that amplify it (like push-pull) to prove to your mind that nothing bad happens, but that doesn’t mean you should always do those things. This will give you permission to bring more realness out.
Same goes with statements of intent – most guys are scared of the girl finding out that they like her, they hold it back, they come up with excuses, justify their intent (instead of admitting that they were looking at her, they will say that it was an accident and they were looking somewhere else…) You don’t need a reason to talk to her (asking for directions), you are talking to her because you are a guy, and she is a girl, that’s it. These statements however, make you feel more OK because they give you that extra reason and you can relax (same with being physical, eye contact…) These things are training wheels. Once you have give yourself permission, it should just naturally come up. Once you do that, you don’t have to tell the girl you like her for her to know, you don’t have to be physical to know…
All of these techniques are just unlocking that realness.
The more you observe people, the more you realize how fake there are. People who are nice, aren’t nice because they want to be nice, they act that way because they want something. No one is actually being real, it’s just a form of manipulation. Most communication is manipulation.
Girl’s reality really is being a millionaire among poor people – some are nice, have interesting stories to tell, some are mean, but they always want something, they want “the money.” They want the approval, the validation, they want to get her because they want that feeling. Nothing is actually genuine.
When someone walks up and can actually be real (without manipulation), that is an incredible amount of value!
Julien also sometimes visualizes that he already got everything from that girl – all the validation and the good response so that makes him feel good, then he acts. Whatever it takes to do that, after you get some experience that won’t be necessary.
Even if you are in a bad mood you can embrace that, tell her you are sad or angry, you are still giving value, taking value would be asking her trying to fix your mood.
Let her know as soon as possible why you are actually there – you are not a friend. One of the training wheels would also be leading (conversation – if you don’t like the topic, change it, you pretending to like it is not being real, cutting certain topics, disagreeing a little bit.)
“The more personal, the better” and a part of being real includes being a little bit vulnerable, this also links to being creative – what do you find funny, what do you want to say… make this about you, don’t copy someone else. If you do, you are nothing but a poor man’s version of that person.
Understand that you have your own vibe, and you have to communicate it clearly to other people. There are a few basic rules that you need to follow, or you are not in the interaction.
Can she hear you? Make sure you are loud enough, because if she doesn’t understand you, you aren’t even a part of the interaction. It happens very often when guys approach, they get out of their own way, they are actually good, but the girl doesn’t understand them well. Either learn to speak louder, or get closer to her ear (pretty obvious.) A lot of “rejections” are because the girl doesn’t hear you. If that’s happening a lot to you, try to swing the pendulum into another direction – talk in a way where you are almost yelling! You are going to think that you are yelling (internally), but in reality it’s going to be just normal. If you do this long enough, the “new normal” will change. Everyone can speak loud, but it takes time and awareness – catch yourself when you are talking too silently (change the habit.) If it’s hard for you, write “LOUD” on your hand to remind yourself each time and reinforce it.
Another obvious one is make sure you actually go out, if you don’t regularly go out, you are not in the game.
Also fix your smiling. A lot of people aren’t used to feeling good, so even when they do their face isn’t expressive enough, they don’t show it, they block it off. A lot of Julien’s game is in his facial expression. Doing a few silence opens could do the trick – don’t talk for the first 10 seconds so you have to do something with your face to keep them interested and to keep the interaction going. On the other hand, it will also reveal what kind of a vibe you are putting off. It will get you in touch with sub communications, it will get you thinking about all the ways that you could express yourself without talking – facial expressions and body language (to amplify the emotions.)
Also, make sure you face her and get close enough for her to experience you. A lot of guys give her the shoulder (the channel, the flow of communication is being cut off.) If you get closer, it gets more intense (proximity.) Exaggerate these things for a bit to get used to them. These things have nothing to do with energy – we associate feeling good with having a lot of energy which is not true. The energy doesn’t matter.
Those are basic guidelines to make sure she can channel your vibe.
Thinking win-win is asking yourself “What’s my goal? What’s the girl’s goal? How can I make it win-win?” Every time it’s not win-win you get rejected. This can be applied on a macro level or on a micro level.
On a macro level it’s no girl wants to feel like a slut. You could be offering value, making yourself feel really good, be real, but if you make her feel like a slut, you get rejected. You’re an obstacle to her goal of not feeling that way, you’re done! Another example would be trying to pull her in the beginning of the night while she is trying to dance, drink, and have fun with her friends, rather than talk to you for 5 hours.
Say something and determine if it’s too extreme, or too boring, then calibrate what you say next based on her reaction. Any kind of tenseness on her part is usually bad (nervous laugh, stepping back…) Slow it down in those times, but if you slow it down too much she’ll be bored and not engaged.