We are very easily influenced by our environment – people around us. If you spend a lot of time around “low-status” individuals that have bad posture and terrible body language, there is a good chance that you behave just like them!
That body language that doesn’t get you power, respect, money, and everything else that you want, is going to slowly become who you are and how you behave. You will slowly justify those behaviors as you spend more time with those people, which is NOT what you want!
A good way to counter that is to watch pictures, videos, and hang out with people that have what you want – and that already behave the way you want to behave.
Once you make the high-status body language a habit and it really becomes a part of you, it will make you look and feel more assertive and powerful in every situation.
Most people don’t pay attention to the body language – not even their own, they just perceive social situations on an unconscious level, however, they don’t consciously understand what is going on. By mastering your body language, you will also gain complete control over every relationship that you have with other people – family, friends, business, and dating!
Body language is far more important than the words that you are saying which is why you will not necessarily need to be incredibly verbally skillful in handling social interactions, your body will do it for you.
The way you position yourself and use your body directly affects several hormones – testosterone is a very important one (also known as the growth hormone). The difference between a low-status and high-status body language is about 20-40% increase in testosterone, which is HUGE!
At the same time, open high-status body language also decreases hormones that don’t serve you and frequently hurt your decision-making processes – cortisol is one example. Mastering body language lowers stress and prevents hesitation and anxiety – risk taking becomes natural.
What else is high-status body language going to do for you?
- As we already said – it will increase your testosterone
- Enhanced cognitive function
- Enhanced immune function
- Enhanced tolerance to risk
- Enhanced dominance behaviors and social dominance
- Avoidance of impaired immune functioning
- Avoidance of memory loss and other memory loss diseases (dementia, Alzheimer’s)
- Avoid hypertension
We will be talking about power positions that have been proven by Harvard researchers to help increase testosterone levels while decreasing cortisol levels. They are mostly used by leaders of social groups and work both in business and dating (any social interaction).
To achieve the same results as described above, you will have to live through these positions. We all live in our own little world – in our mental world where we have our thoughts which are connected to our body – physical world. These positions have to become you, they must be instinctual, they have to be your default physical setting where you spend the most time in.
In order to make this happen, you have to make a commitment to yourself, that you will live through power position and have that high-status body language as your default state for the rest of your life.
Researchers have shown that it takes roughly 66 days to fully create a habit, which is why your commitment has to be strong enough to follow through for the next 66 days until you naturally behave and move that way without even thinking about it – instinctually.
“Your mind follows your body MORE than your body follows your mind!”
The state in which you are in most of the time becomes your default setting. If you put yourself in a dominant and assertive state for long periods of time, eventually your brain will be rewired for that state and you will feel and act that way most of the time.
An enormous part of training your desired default setting is your body – when you hold yourself in power positions, you achieve desired positive emotional states very quickly. If you hold your body in those positions the entire day, you feel those emotions the entire day. If you repeat that for about 66 days, that body language positions and emotional states become a part of your default setting.
However, if you are not aware of this and you let your environment – friends, family, and other people determine the way you hold yourself and what you feel in the moment, you let the environment determine what your hormonal profile is going to be – and pretty soon how you act and feel most of the time.
When you are living through the body language that you consciously selected (in your case power positions), you are signaling to the people around you that you are different, you are a dominant leader. An important trait that you are signaling is also the entitlement – it lets people know that you have a lot of options and that you are used to having a lot of options all of the time (lots of business opportunities, dates, friends…) People would much rather spend time with a person who has a lot of options than with someone that only has one option which is why the entitled individual gets, even more, friends, dates, and partnerships while somebody with very limited options hardly gets any. One of the psychological cognitive biases is called social proof. People love spending time with popular people, we idolize celebrities which are famous (social proof) and have a lot of options (entitlement).
No one can deny that a person with an amazing body language isn’t high-status. Somebody can tell about all the amazing things that he has done, the vacations he had, private jets, luxury cars, dates, celebrities he knows and more – anyone can still deny what he is saying and can assume he is lying. However, when you meet a person with a high-status body language, that person doesn’t have to do or say anything at all – you can’t deny that there is something about that person. Most people won’t consciously understand it but they will know.
Some people will “hate” those high-status individuals – mostly the feeling associated with that hate will be jealousy because these individuals have what most people wish they had. We have been trained for our entire life not to trust words because people lie! Nobody will be able to deny your body language – everybody trusts what they see, not what you tell them. People will ignore everything else (what you say) and trust what they see.
Content is what you are saying verbally, context is everything that is not being said in an interaction. The context is much more important than content – body language is more significant than the words.
In dating, women frequently test men that they are interested in – this process makes sense on a biological level because women risk a lot more when they get pregnant than men that could potentially just leave them. Women want to make sure that they get a high-status individual who has the most value – throughout the history they would much rather get pregnant with a king than with a farmer because the king has more respect and power, he is high-status. The child also has more chances to be high-status, survive, and procreate if he has the DNA of his high-status father. This doesn’t happen on a conscious level, a woman is unconsciously attracted to a high-status man and she will justify it with all kinds of reasons afterward that may or may not make sense.
A great way to pass tests from anyone is to be unreactive. You don’t need to come up with some clever line as long as whatever somebody says doesn’t affect you and you don’t react to it. All tests are designed to get a reaction out of you. The fastest way to pass any test is with your body language, with power positioning – you are in a power position, somebody tests you, and you remain in a power position (nothing changes).
The first question is – is your body language open or closed? Your limbs are not touching your body most of the time, you are taking up your space (you will not try to control everyone around you and invade their personal space but you will still take a lot of space that is at your disposal).
When your body is closed off, your testosterone drops while cortisol level goes up – you are also training your mind and body your default setting (which will be closed and low-status). When you are at home and you are really into reading a book, your posture doesn’t always have to be perfect but you should still practice training your body how to move – you must remember that the state in which you are most of the time will become your default setting.
A lot of people work during the day at a desk – pay attention to the chairs that you are using and make sure that they don’t close you off – chairs must allow you to spread your legs wide and have your arms open.
When the world around you is earning your attention, you are most likely in a power position, when you are giving the world your attention, your body language is most often not powerful – learning forward with your hands together.
People don’t respect individuals that just give them their attention and approval most of the time, instead they respect and listen to people that make them earn their attention – high-status individuals that are always busy and that don’t look at you very often when you are talking. Something else must be ALWAYS more important to you and that is YOUR VISION, your mission, your path, your goals! Everything else is secondary. Your outer world should be a reflection of your inner world, which is why your body language must show that your vision is more important than anything else. You are also signaling your high-status, pre-selection, and your carefreeness.
The correct word to describe this is NOT “earn”, it’s actually “earning” because other people must constantly fight for your attention, they don’t just earn it once and then they have it forever – “earning” is dynamic, it’s always in motion, and it’s always changing – it’s reward and punishment for every action that somebody does.
Most people make a HUGE mistake – when somebody doesn’t respond to them the way they want them to respond, they just GIVE MORE attention to them – they lean forward even more! If you don’t like something that somebody did, you take your attention away rather than giving more of it. By giving it away for something that you didn’t like, you are TRAINING other people to do even more behaviors that you won’t like.
By making this mistake, you are just encouraging bad behavior which they will then probably do for the rest of their life because it gets them attention.
The world doesn’t reward entitlement and getting what you want without working hard (just getting it without any effort) – so if you reward those types of behaviors, you are doing these people an enormous disservice. The constantly full attention giving signals equal or lower status, attachment, and it’s not dynamic – you are not even adapting to the always changing social interaction.
When you change your low-status position to a power position, certain hormones begin to elevate within two minutes. If you live through these positions, these levels of hormones stay that way as long as you live through them – here is a partial list of what happens with the correct body language:
- Increased testosterone
- Decreased cortisol
- Higher sexual drive
- Increased power and entitlement emotions
- More risk tolerant, more action taking
- Healthier immune system and heart
- Less fat, more muscle mass, stronger bones
- Decreased risk for brain diseases, better cognitive functioning
- Better emotional states, higher mood.
- Suppressed immunity, hypertension, high blood sugar
- Insulin resistance, fewer carbohydrate cravings
- Fewer fat deposits on the face, neck, and belly
Remember, you have to live through these positions. My recommendation is to set a phone alarm every hour that will remind you to become aware of your current body language and change it in case you are currently not positioned correctly. Your goal is to be your own personal police for your body language until it becomes instinctual (66 days). Always keep your high-status behavior in check until it becomes second nature for you – whatever you have to do to achieve this for the next two months, just do it!
For a physical position to be called the power position, it needs to have 5 different elements.
- Open – are you open or closed?
- Grounded – are you grounded in your body language? You are not floaty, you are physically grounded in reality, rather than daydreaming and not being present.
- Slow – your movements have to be slow and controlled – low-status people move quickly, their movements are jerky, they are twitching and nervously moving around while you are completely still – when you move, you move slowly, never in a reactive way.
- Priding – are you giving your gift to the world or are you hiding from the world?
- Earning – is the world (people around you) earning your attention and approval or are you giving it away for free?
You should also pay attention whether the room is in front of you or are you stuck somewhere in the middle? The leader or the “alpha male” always has the entire room and everyone in the group in front of him – they naturally position themselves against the wall. As a leader, you have to know exactly what is going on in the entire room.
Amy Cuddy Ted talk named – Your body language may shape who you are is a must watch in order to learn more about this topic.
It talks about the fact that even just power posing (being in a powerful body language position) for 60-120 seconds will result in increased testosterone and decreased cortisol. People after 2 minutes of power posing were taking bigger risks and felt more confident about it.
To do this, set reminders on your phone or computer in order to remember to do it – the reminder should be set to every 3-4 hours – you can name it two-minute power rush.
You have to find your own high-status position that you are going to hold for two minutes – it will be different for every individual, pick the position in which you feel dominant. Just follow the 5 point checklist above to come up with a few ideas of your power positions.
For the first 30 seconds of the power rush, you are going to get into your power position, close your eyes, and do controlled breathing on the count of 4 – inhale for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds and hold for 4 seconds – and then repeat. It will feel like a quick meditation that will make you feel relaxed, grounded, and in control.
The next 30 seconds will be devoted to visualization. A lot of people have trouble visualizing. An easier method is to visualize in a way as if you were remembering the past (as if you already did and had everything that you wanted. You can also visualize in a way, where you are telling a story to your friends about what you did last week (when you were doing what you want).
Your brain doesn’t want to visualize all that things because it doesn’t want change. If it thinks it’s just remembering something that already happened, it lets you visualize.
The third thing you are going to do is to keep repeating an affirmation (we are implementing all of the greatest self-development or self-strategizing tactics in just 2 minutes). You can change the voice while doing affirmations – for example, you can make it stronger, deeper, slower… perhaps you could just say the entire affirmation in 30 seconds rather than looping it 5 times in that same amount of time.
Lastly, you will do 30 seconds of power grounding. To see how power grounding is done, you can watch Elliott Hulse bioenergetics routine – the last exercise that he does is power grounding.
With increased testosterone, comes increased energy, sense of entitlement, and action taking! Just remember to put on an alarm about 3 times per day to remind you.
What’s interesting is that after a while, you begin to see your visualizations when you go to sleep – that is a great sign from your subconscious mind. When you first start doing this routine, you will feel great but people don’t feel like doing it – make sure you stick to it until it becomes a habit!
It’s similar than working out – even though we know it works and the results are amazing, most people just give up – don’t be one of them.